it's been two weeks roughly since i quit my job. my old company sort of fucked me over. i haven't paid rent yet, because a) i don't have the money and b) i don't know where my landlady is. i haven't really done anything 'cool' and 'exciting' except maybe watching samurai jack completely ripped. the girl i fell for a long time ago is doing the whole hot/cold shit to me again. it frustrates me more than anything, but maybe it's time for me to do the same thing back.
she leaves for europe in like 10 days. sure it's only 10 days that she'll be gone, but being the realist that i can be, i don't want her to go with out saying what i have to say, just in case something happens. however right now, i'm not sure i want to see her. i yo-yo like a champ when this stuff comes around. i'm indecisive, i play the scenarios out in my head so much that i never take action. i can do anything i want in life, and i can't even figure out how to handle this girl.
i keep going through things and trying to find a way to make sense of everything right now. i'm moving in a few days, should hopefully be starting a new job soon, and hey, maybe these small things will help me to regain what little is left of my mental stability.
for some people, being crazy is good times. for me? it just means more desire to blanket my mental state with some form of intoxicant, and then write about it. even though when i do write about it, it makes no sense to me two weeks later. or two days later even.
i don't have any one to give me advice that i trust to tell them about anything that's going on. the only people i do trust are in the same place more or less and they have no idea what the fuck to do either. someone once told me the smarter you are, the more likely you are to become insane, and when you surround yourself with intelligent people... well, you all sort of fall apart together, and it makes for great drinking binges, and 4 am philosophical conversations that i would never have otherwise. maybe there are pros to this whole situation.
she leaves for europe in like 10 days. sure it's only 10 days that she'll be gone, but being the realist that i can be, i don't want her to go with out saying what i have to say, just in case something happens. however right now, i'm not sure i want to see her. i yo-yo like a champ when this stuff comes around. i'm indecisive, i play the scenarios out in my head so much that i never take action. i can do anything i want in life, and i can't even figure out how to handle this girl.
i keep going through things and trying to find a way to make sense of everything right now. i'm moving in a few days, should hopefully be starting a new job soon, and hey, maybe these small things will help me to regain what little is left of my mental stability.
for some people, being crazy is good times. for me? it just means more desire to blanket my mental state with some form of intoxicant, and then write about it. even though when i do write about it, it makes no sense to me two weeks later. or two days later even.
i don't have any one to give me advice that i trust to tell them about anything that's going on. the only people i do trust are in the same place more or less and they have no idea what the fuck to do either. someone once told me the smarter you are, the more likely you are to become insane, and when you surround yourself with intelligent people... well, you all sort of fall apart together, and it makes for great drinking binges, and 4 am philosophical conversations that i would never have otherwise. maybe there are pros to this whole situation.