i just quit my job.
i haven't really slept in days.
i'm half way done jpod. and i just started it tonight.
i just emailed my mom for the first time in a month.
i'm applying to work for an advertising / marketing company.
i'm falling apart mentally, even though everyone thinks i'm already mostly insane.
they say most people with insomnia just never really lie down. i don't really have insomnia, i think. even when i lay down it takes two hours and then i fall asleep. and then i wake up.
and then i fall asleep.
and wake up
and this continues until i just wake up and lie on my bed for an hour trying to convince myself i should get out of bed.
people have told me this is part of depression. i have no reason to be depressed. sure, it might be one of those clinical ones, but i don't feel depressed. sometimes i go through that normal sort of loneliness i think all people experience at 4 am, but i wouldn't say i'm depressed. maybe just in a rut.
on the plus side, i'm starting to look for jobs that actually interest me, and a good friend of mine and myself are going to start planning out our company.
august always seems to be the month when i need to really change shit in my life. i can deal with it all year, and then the end of july and august, i'm like fuck it. i don't care any more, let's move on and start something new.
i've also realized i need someone to balance my life out.
i figured this was as good of a place as any to tell the world what was happening. even though it's only really for me, since in a year, i'll read this and laugh, and no one will know the wiser.
i haven't really slept in days.
i'm half way done jpod. and i just started it tonight.
i just emailed my mom for the first time in a month.
i'm applying to work for an advertising / marketing company.
i'm falling apart mentally, even though everyone thinks i'm already mostly insane.
they say most people with insomnia just never really lie down. i don't really have insomnia, i think. even when i lay down it takes two hours and then i fall asleep. and then i wake up.
and then i fall asleep.
and wake up
and this continues until i just wake up and lie on my bed for an hour trying to convince myself i should get out of bed.
people have told me this is part of depression. i have no reason to be depressed. sure, it might be one of those clinical ones, but i don't feel depressed. sometimes i go through that normal sort of loneliness i think all people experience at 4 am, but i wouldn't say i'm depressed. maybe just in a rut.
on the plus side, i'm starting to look for jobs that actually interest me, and a good friend of mine and myself are going to start planning out our company.
august always seems to be the month when i need to really change shit in my life. i can deal with it all year, and then the end of july and august, i'm like fuck it. i don't care any more, let's move on and start something new.
i've also realized i need someone to balance my life out.
i figured this was as good of a place as any to tell the world what was happening. even though it's only really for me, since in a year, i'll read this and laugh, and no one will know the wiser.