she said take me to london/tell me something i don't know
First day of school completed without any mishaps? Check. Laundry washed and hung out to dry? Check. Hardwood floor swept and mopped? Check. Dishes washed, dried and put away? Check. Shopping list completed? Check. Delicious dinner of chicken fingers and french fries cooked? CHECK. I am awesome at this whole living-on-my-own thing. Granted, it's only been a day and half, but I've never felt more at home than I do here. In my cosy peach bedroom with hardwood floors and walls covered with asofterworld posters, and pictures of england, and thumbtacked receipts. In my blue bed, curled up against the wall with Raja, watching babylon5 episodes on my computer because I don't have a DVD player. In my tiny, cramped shower with its brightly colored plastic curtain; in my sweet, small kitchen making popcorn and bowls of fruit loops. On the SkyTrain, rocking back and forth with the rhythm of the bus, listening to chelseadagger on my little sister's iPod, watching the slums pass underneath me. Back in a desk, in school, highlighting course outlines and doodling in margins and waiting in line at the bookstore. This is where I belong.
broken hearts, like broken bones, hurt well
But the pull of lonliness is starting to ache a little; if just for a few. I miss my sister - she wanted so badly to come with me and I would have taken her with me in a heartbeat if she was done high school. I hated leaving her. Right now I'm incredibly bitter about my parents. What values did they pass on to me? Today, all I could think of was hypocrisy, anger and keeping my mouth shut. And I didn't even learn that last one as well as they'd have liked. And I'm angry because I just want it to be OVER because I'm gone, but that doesn't make it any less real. I'm also missing Jeremy and freakpirate and carla and hearse83. And there's a special space for misguided that I don't know what to do with...it's a confusing place. I miss him so much but feel like I shouldn't, because I know that no matter if I come back or not, nothing will be the same. If falling was a mistake, I'm glad I made it, but it's hurting now.
<3 Willow
First day of school completed without any mishaps? Check. Laundry washed and hung out to dry? Check. Hardwood floor swept and mopped? Check. Dishes washed, dried and put away? Check. Shopping list completed? Check. Delicious dinner of chicken fingers and french fries cooked? CHECK. I am awesome at this whole living-on-my-own thing. Granted, it's only been a day and half, but I've never felt more at home than I do here. In my cosy peach bedroom with hardwood floors and walls covered with asofterworld posters, and pictures of england, and thumbtacked receipts. In my blue bed, curled up against the wall with Raja, watching babylon5 episodes on my computer because I don't have a DVD player. In my tiny, cramped shower with its brightly colored plastic curtain; in my sweet, small kitchen making popcorn and bowls of fruit loops. On the SkyTrain, rocking back and forth with the rhythm of the bus, listening to chelseadagger on my little sister's iPod, watching the slums pass underneath me. Back in a desk, in school, highlighting course outlines and doodling in margins and waiting in line at the bookstore. This is where I belong.
broken hearts, like broken bones, hurt well
But the pull of lonliness is starting to ache a little; if just for a few. I miss my sister - she wanted so badly to come with me and I would have taken her with me in a heartbeat if she was done high school. I hated leaving her. Right now I'm incredibly bitter about my parents. What values did they pass on to me? Today, all I could think of was hypocrisy, anger and keeping my mouth shut. And I didn't even learn that last one as well as they'd have liked. And I'm angry because I just want it to be OVER because I'm gone, but that doesn't make it any less real. I'm also missing Jeremy and freakpirate and carla and hearse83. And there's a special space for misguided that I don't know what to do with...it's a confusing place. I miss him so much but feel like I shouldn't, because I know that no matter if I come back or not, nothing will be the same. If falling was a mistake, I'm glad I made it, but it's hurting now.
<3 Willow
I completely understand what you're talking about. When I first moved out, life was fantastic--colours were brighter, the air was fresher, and everything became that much more vibrant and pure. It's a fantastic feeling; feeling like you have the world by the tail. Savour it.