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Clearly I'm not ready for prime time.
These next few weeks are going to be really hard.

Wedding a month and a week. I'm renting a room.... I hope I passout infront of it.
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I don't know what I feel anymore. I'm really adjusting to this new life. I don't like it. Friday night, (and I'd do this again anyways) I went out alone to a bar. I was really surprised at just how hard it is to talk to people when you are by yourself. I know I saw the same girl walk by 3-4 times. I couldn't...
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mslait:
*huuuuuuug* smile x
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Like my wounded finger I continue to heal smile.

I'm steady... I had a dream... well 2 dreams with my ex in it. I don't understand my brain. Why one minute give me a dream where she is seducing me and then another night... give me a dream where she is marrying a total jackass!? Either way, I am happy I haven't heard from her....
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tarion:
Yeah I wanna be a cat. Life looks really good if your a cat hehe.
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New Life Lessons:
1) You Eventually Hate the ones you love
2) You become everything you hate
3) You are not immune
4) You make stupid decisions when your thinking with your heart
5) Never be optimistic with money
6) Stop caring so much about things
7) Its always bleak get over it
8) Stop stressing about dumb shit
9) Pets are awesome
10) Things...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
xxun:
Pets are awesome, I got my kitten after a bad break up honestly one of the best choices I've ever made XD
ferinus:
I don't agree with 9 but I'm not an animal person.. the rest is sound logic
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All I'm going to say.....
I'm about to do something incredibly dumb... and I think I like it.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
xxun:
....I envy you so fucking much for that...
xxun:
"I wrote him an email and he read it on the podcast once." THAT XD
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kas:
that good eh? shocked
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I went home for a stag and doe this weekend. While I almost blew it with poor planning, everything turned out okay.

I'm starting to learn that when I'm thinking of someone heavily, I need to get in contact with them. I don't know what it is. I just know.... maybe I'm just having a 'psychic moment' lately.

I wish I could cut through it...
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ferinus:
haha thats fucking wierd about the tag teaming!
Sounds like a great time though n good work with the girl smile she sounds cool n you've totally got the right attitude now it sounds like closures happening dude, it just takes a while.
I wouldn't blame you about wanting to kick that douches knees off though I know a couple of peeps like that whatever
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I'm going to try and blog while I have breakfast.

Another friend of mine ended a relationship. 9 years together and they cut it off. Its so sad. Good olde facebook huh?

I'm getting so sick of doing nothing here, I'm actually thinking about just going downtown and wandering around by myself. I won't drink. I'm actually thinking about never drinking again. It just leads...
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I didn't get canada off but I have today off. Happy long weekend biggrin.

I don't know what to say. I recently had a tourtured few days. It seems to come out of no where.

I'm much happier now. I just dread going back to 'that place'. I want to move on really I do... but I realize I'm just that type of person who...
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vigil_:
today off would have been so much better than wednesday. good for you, you're lucky.
ferinus:
I'm the same it's a way to vent!
Some one else said exactly the same thing! I'm thinking on working on a slime character after finishing the site as a sort of logo smile a site that would look like that would be awesome.. take quite alot of flash work methinks.
I think This might help.. I first heard about it on here actually, It really helped me at one point.. I never practiced it propperly just dabble now n then.. but whilst reading up on it it tells you whilst trying to not think of anything you shouldn't surpress any thoughts that bubble up and follow them through to their conclusion..
this actually helped me because whenever I started thinking about something sad to do with the ex I'd try and distract myself.. When I started following the thoughts through to thier logical conclusion though I started looking at everything differently.. instead of what was and what is It lead to what will be.. all positive, Give it a go.. worst that happens is you waste a few hours relaxing smile
but dude naming a scar after your ex is pretty fucked haha
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Its my birthday, I feel no older.. only younger.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ferinus:
delayed Happy Birthday! hope you enjoyed yourself, get anything you wanted?

thanks for taking the time to look at my site.. I think I'm going to have to totally rework it.. It's kinda disheatening, I was far from happy with the site but normally it's because I've spent so much time on something like that.
I can learn the code from books but I feel like an idiot when stuff I've probably not even considered passingly turns out to be blaits obviouse to you guys!
I wish I could pause time and learn all the ins and outs :S It's just there's so many bad habits that uni taught us in coding (like the tables grr)
ferinus:
Thank you.. sometimes I lack the patience to remember that I'm at the begining of a life long career smile

I always start my designs with lots of sketchs, thats where I think I went wrong with Version 1 when I started crafting it I got carried away and didn't stick to the plan..
So I'm keeping more secure to the plan this time, also I'm going to coding that isn't mine.. I don't like it but I'm sure the site will look 100% better.. I'll just have to study to understand what I'm using so I can write it myself some time..
Start as a newbie work to become a designer move on to development yup yup.. doesn't need to all happen within a month or even a year.. I just need to be patient.

Thanks for the encouragement!

you didn't tell me about your birthday. How'd it go?