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orangeasaurusrex

Near Hamilton

Member Since 2005

Followers 118 Following 143

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Friday Feb 18, 2011

Feb 18, 2011
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Having to choose not to use the internet is a pain. I miss it.

I am talking to my new doctor twice a week now. We're aren't talking about anything note worthy. Some interesting text/email/BMs/IMs today. I feel like something is going to change.

My heart is feeling heavy. I think its the little drinking I do. If I have only 2 beers; 2 days later I get super depressed. I am having a few tonight... but at least I'll be able to keep myself busy rather than staring at monitors all day. I hate the thing I instantly get depressed about is my ex. I know its cause I am talking to my doctor and everything comes out. I know I'd feel a lot better about this state if I could bury the hate in my heart. But my hate eats at me from the inside. I hate that I hate someone so much. Very toxic. I am learning that I really don't feel the same way most people do.

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