I continue to battle with my mind as I keep thinking those pics are her. Deep in my heart.... I know its not her... but there is a nagging part of me that thinks it is. However, to cope; I've been looking at girls in passing that look like her and say 'you see, she kinda looks like her... its possible that people look alike' right?!
No words can describe how embarrassed and horrible I feel for contacting her the way I did. I wish she would have told me to just go away a long time ago. I wish I told her to go away a long time ago. You know though, it doesn't change the fact that I miss her as a person. This fucking cunt bitch version of her really sux.
I mean; WTF! You can't believe I haven't gotten closure?! No I haven't, I feel horrible about the break up! I feel like its all my fault still. The more I think about it... the more I feel we were heading down a the break up slope anyways. I am totally second guessing and consoling myself.
I-AM-FLOORED-TO-GO-TO-MEXICO!
I've continued to use the human gerbil wheel as a coping mechanism. The worse I feel the more I run! The more I lift weights the better I feel! I think I'm going to make a concerted effort to stay in shape this year. I'm already back down to 180lbs! The weight I was when I moved to Toronto!
I want to look really good! I already am trimming the fat around my stomach. Lots of salads for lunch & dinner. Dieting and working out!
I've never flown before so I'm petrified about flying. Well not really. I'm scared of take off for some reason... and sitting still for hours!
I'm having problems with the person I've become.
I'm very emotional and I don't like it. Even hyper emotional I'd say.
I'm not going to blog anymore, I just got bombarded by love from my friends and I'm all vented out... and my work out has left me exhausted! Who wants to buy me a digi-cam so I can post progress pics!
No words can describe how embarrassed and horrible I feel for contacting her the way I did. I wish she would have told me to just go away a long time ago. I wish I told her to go away a long time ago. You know though, it doesn't change the fact that I miss her as a person. This fucking cunt bitch version of her really sux.
I mean; WTF! You can't believe I haven't gotten closure?! No I haven't, I feel horrible about the break up! I feel like its all my fault still. The more I think about it... the more I feel we were heading down a the break up slope anyways. I am totally second guessing and consoling myself.
I-AM-FLOORED-TO-GO-TO-MEXICO!
I've continued to use the human gerbil wheel as a coping mechanism. The worse I feel the more I run! The more I lift weights the better I feel! I think I'm going to make a concerted effort to stay in shape this year. I'm already back down to 180lbs! The weight I was when I moved to Toronto!
I want to look really good! I already am trimming the fat around my stomach. Lots of salads for lunch & dinner. Dieting and working out!
I've never flown before so I'm petrified about flying. Well not really. I'm scared of take off for some reason... and sitting still for hours!
I'm having problems with the person I've become.
I'm very emotional and I don't like it. Even hyper emotional I'd say.
I'm not going to blog anymore, I just got bombarded by love from my friends and I'm all vented out... and my work out has left me exhausted! Who wants to buy me a digi-cam so I can post progress pics!