OMG, serious
Another Blog lost!
fuck I gotta remember to copy & paste that shit before I post!
++++++++++++++++++++
It was a comment ^_^
======================
Finally.... some drama within my control.
I guess now is a good time to really write.
I've stopped working out. Its not I'm giving up, its just trying to find time for things. I'm living a fairly active life style and eating very light (when I'm not drinking beer). I'm find old eating habits trying to push their ways through.
I need a proper distraction. TV and video games even extra work do not fill my needs of pre-occupation. I'm even finding my interest in Porn dwindling. Typically thats a sign of depression, but I feel like its more out of being busy all the time. When I use to be home all the time, I was to easily distracted. I think maybe smoking pot is keeping me steady... more steady low... but better than up & down.
Today the drive to work was insane. I really love my new car and I want to drive it more & more. I need a destination. Some place to go chillax that I can drive too thats not in the city. Luckily there is a meteor shower this weekend (I think). I have to go home and visit an old friend... bonefire
. Also a bar burning... since the barn has been torn down forever.... well u get the idea.
I feel settled now. The apartment smells like paint because they are painting the hallway. It makes me kinda sick. I want to paint my room. I have grand simple plans. I think trying to square peg round hole works well for programming, but not my life. I have to re-learn how to take things as they come to me. Not so much to be a passive participant in my life... but being active and not trying to force things.
I need more change... for the better... and it has been for the better... maybe in the greater picture... everything is better. I read old blogs and I still cry... but now its a matter of squeezing out the final feelings. I don't think about this stuff... but more I wake up a little wiser.
My apartment is a mess.. the one thing I should force... is myself to clean
//BOM out\\
Another Blog lost!
fuck I gotta remember to copy & paste that shit before I post!
++++++++++++++++++++
It was a comment ^_^
======================
Finally.... some drama within my control.
I guess now is a good time to really write.
I've stopped working out. Its not I'm giving up, its just trying to find time for things. I'm living a fairly active life style and eating very light (when I'm not drinking beer). I'm find old eating habits trying to push their ways through.
I need a proper distraction. TV and video games even extra work do not fill my needs of pre-occupation. I'm even finding my interest in Porn dwindling. Typically thats a sign of depression, but I feel like its more out of being busy all the time. When I use to be home all the time, I was to easily distracted. I think maybe smoking pot is keeping me steady... more steady low... but better than up & down.
Today the drive to work was insane. I really love my new car and I want to drive it more & more. I need a destination. Some place to go chillax that I can drive too thats not in the city. Luckily there is a meteor shower this weekend (I think). I have to go home and visit an old friend... bonefire
. Also a bar burning... since the barn has been torn down forever.... well u get the idea.I feel settled now. The apartment smells like paint because they are painting the hallway. It makes me kinda sick. I want to paint my room. I have grand simple plans. I think trying to square peg round hole works well for programming, but not my life. I have to re-learn how to take things as they come to me. Not so much to be a passive participant in my life... but being active and not trying to force things.
I need more change... for the better... and it has been for the better... maybe in the greater picture... everything is better. I read old blogs and I still cry... but now its a matter of squeezing out the final feelings. I don't think about this stuff... but more I wake up a little wiser.
My apartment is a mess.. the one thing I should force... is myself to clean
//BOM out\\
Although I'm not so sure about the pot thing, I've had a few friends think that it's been helping only 10months down the line them hating it and wishing they'd hit it on the head early on.
I don't mean to pass judgement just a heads up.
I've only just really started discovering porn, this is the first year in my adult life that I've been single, n it wasnt untill a female friend took the mick out of me for not having any I thought I should bother getting some.
Saying that I think I've got abit of a problem I've seen the average number of times the averge joe masterbates a week.. I normally double or triple that
The Meteor Shower sounds pretty swish