Like my wounded finger I continue to heal 
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I'm steady... I had a dream... well 2 dreams with my ex in it. I don't understand my brain. Why one minute give me a dream where she is seducing me and then another night... give me a dream where she is marrying a total jackass!? Either way, I am happy I haven't heard from her. I'm starting to center myself... I gotta admit... the tilt that was my life before was fucked. I feel like I was pulled in so many 100's of directions. I was really overloaded with things that don't matter now.
I'm finding life hard to adjust too. As I'm trying to do things to make myself more comfortable; infact I'm swearing I'll go bar hopping by myself tonight... I need to. I need to realize I can do things alone. I'm allowed to have fun by myself. I keep feeling like I need someone in my life to make happy. Before it was my mom, then the g/f and now... no body its liberating to know that I can now work on making me happy. I think its a bit of a important part of my life to move onto. I mean the part where I can rediscover what makes me happy so that when I am down, I can do things to lift me out of it.
Even now I find that I want to make my dog happy... but I realize that my dog doesn't need to be made happy. She is happily doing nothing with me. Walking... playing, belly rubs. Gotta love the beasts... so simple.
I haven't worked out in too long. The bow flex is sitting there.. and I am not using it. I don't even look at it. Its invisible in my mind. I need to remedy that. Every time I look to use it, I feel like I need to be doing something else. I'm often paralyzed at the amount of stuff I need to do. I am excited to go out. I really need to ask myself new questions.
.
I'm steady... I had a dream... well 2 dreams with my ex in it. I don't understand my brain. Why one minute give me a dream where she is seducing me and then another night... give me a dream where she is marrying a total jackass!? Either way, I am happy I haven't heard from her. I'm starting to center myself... I gotta admit... the tilt that was my life before was fucked. I feel like I was pulled in so many 100's of directions. I was really overloaded with things that don't matter now.
I'm finding life hard to adjust too. As I'm trying to do things to make myself more comfortable; infact I'm swearing I'll go bar hopping by myself tonight... I need to. I need to realize I can do things alone. I'm allowed to have fun by myself. I keep feeling like I need someone in my life to make happy. Before it was my mom, then the g/f and now... no body its liberating to know that I can now work on making me happy. I think its a bit of a important part of my life to move onto. I mean the part where I can rediscover what makes me happy so that when I am down, I can do things to lift me out of it.
Even now I find that I want to make my dog happy... but I realize that my dog doesn't need to be made happy. She is happily doing nothing with me. Walking... playing, belly rubs. Gotta love the beasts... so simple.
I haven't worked out in too long. The bow flex is sitting there.. and I am not using it. I don't even look at it. Its invisible in my mind. I need to remedy that. Every time I look to use it, I feel like I need to be doing something else. I'm often paralyzed at the amount of stuff I need to do. I am excited to go out. I really need to ask myself new questions.
tarion:
Yeah I wanna be a cat. Life looks really good if your a cat hehe.