orangeasaurusrex

I came back from star trek with my buddies.... I guess I'm kinda disappointed because I wish they had come to look for me when i didn't meet them in the theater (I was waiting outside). I guess this just proves out of sync I am with them. I do really love my friends but I guess I am just that different.

I was talking to a friend the other day. She said my mannerisms and body language is same since high school. I kinda was shocked because I kinda wondered if maybe I've been too holed up in my life to really change. But maybe I just was too mature for school... or maybe... I just always am the way I am? I think its the latter

I don't want to question life anymore. thats who I am.. it won't stop.

With not a lot going on in the SG world, I'm writing. I've had a strong drink and I'm tired. I in now way want to go to bed.

I'm trying my best to focus myself into some cohesive thoughts. While my dog plays a small game of fetch, the more I look forward to moving out. This house is poorly equip for her. This area is great for her.. not the house. I can't wait to move. My mom goes to bed at 8, and it makes it hard to do anything but watch TV. There is no space to do situps.. not space for me. I've complained about this in every medium possible... and yes... it is time.

I'm looking forward to my new car... my new life... and just to get away from whatever that could be here. The more I pack up; the more I find hair that isn't mine... stuff that never touched my body... things that are garbage but never belonged to me. It just bothers me.

I love life... but I hate me.
I feel like a caged bird.

I need to escape... I still do. I dream of beaches and ocean and yet I'll be too poor. I played the lotto today... heres hoping I'm a millionaire. Would money bring me that much closer to happiness? I doubt it. Mo money mo problems right?

Well I'm fed up with self pity. Time to smash and conquer. Heres to the continued failure of online dating!
[/DRUNK]