orangeasaurusrex

I don't know what it was with my chink in my armour last night. I guess I'm not as ready as I thought. There is too much pressure I'm putting on myself. I keep getting stupid reminders and I let my guard down. I need to move forward...

Looks like buying a place to live is out of the question. I don't make enough. I guess I need a wife to be a viable loan.... *sigh*. There is just somethings that you can't just have. There are a lot of things I just can't have.

I'll probably find a place to live, that takes pets and I can afford. Not knowing the neighborhoods isn't helping much. I'll keep looking. I wish I could do this without having to think about her, my mom or my dog. I miss being the only person I had to worry about. I went and changed myself to let myself worry about a person and look what that did for me. Maybe I'm just one of those people that needs to not take chances? No... thats no way to live... I gotta figure out myself again, I'm all mangled and bent out of shape

I'm going to head to the gym because life is better when I don't have think about this shit.

[Edit]
Ack! I'm my own worst enemy. WTF is my problem!