Fuck this...
Ya.. I'm not going to be a victim this time. My heart has been hurt. Now I'm just full of break up rage.
Bah, I'm going over every word in my head. You know.. at times like this I'm so surprised how smart I am. I can smell a lie. I know that when things don't make sense... its because someone is lieing. Now I know the truth.. it makes sense. I went over most words in my head.
I don't know what she's thinking now but I totally think I get it. I fucking smothered her. Okay.. that probably reminded her of her ex b/f's. Probably somewhere in there the fear of commitment got brought up. You know... I wasn't angry about this at the time... but now I am. She told me to fucking hit her or do whatever it was I am going to do. I responded "You don't know me as well as I thought". I mean fuck... HIT HER?! She wants me to hurt her. She wants me to push her away.
I'm sure as hell ain't going to pull her back. She can figure it out on her god damn own. I'm so angry. The good kind of angry. I ran today until I almost puked... I couldn't lift a pound after. I still haven't eaten since this morning.. I'm so god damn hungry.. but my rage can sustain me. I will live and breathe it and bend it to my will. I will do more good with this rage than ever before.
I know I'm not her.. but I wish she could see what I see and saw. I'm letting her know whats going on in my head. I never got to fully express myself she had to leave. But fuck. I've never written break up emails like this before... but I will make my point.
She thinks I'll kill myself over her. I'm going to fucking living longer than her by a year and half to show her that I didn't lose the time we spent dating. I am going to use these feelings because now I know the truth because someone obviously can't see 3 feet in front of their face.
[EDIT]
DOWN TO 196lbs!!!!
Ya.. I'm not going to be a victim this time. My heart has been hurt. Now I'm just full of break up rage.
Bah, I'm going over every word in my head. You know.. at times like this I'm so surprised how smart I am. I can smell a lie. I know that when things don't make sense... its because someone is lieing. Now I know the truth.. it makes sense. I went over most words in my head.
I don't know what she's thinking now but I totally think I get it. I fucking smothered her. Okay.. that probably reminded her of her ex b/f's. Probably somewhere in there the fear of commitment got brought up. You know... I wasn't angry about this at the time... but now I am. She told me to fucking hit her or do whatever it was I am going to do. I responded "You don't know me as well as I thought". I mean fuck... HIT HER?! She wants me to hurt her. She wants me to push her away.
I'm sure as hell ain't going to pull her back. She can figure it out on her god damn own. I'm so angry. The good kind of angry. I ran today until I almost puked... I couldn't lift a pound after. I still haven't eaten since this morning.. I'm so god damn hungry.. but my rage can sustain me. I will live and breathe it and bend it to my will. I will do more good with this rage than ever before.
I know I'm not her.. but I wish she could see what I see and saw. I'm letting her know whats going on in my head. I never got to fully express myself she had to leave. But fuck. I've never written break up emails like this before... but I will make my point.
She thinks I'll kill myself over her. I'm going to fucking living longer than her by a year and half to show her that I didn't lose the time we spent dating. I am going to use these feelings because now I know the truth because someone obviously can't see 3 feet in front of their face.
[EDIT]
DOWN TO 196lbs!!!!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/santana/justfeelbetter.html
its her problem... theres a song named Stop from Ryan Adams that says:" nobody can save u if u won't "
I know how frustrating is and how hard is being pushed from someone life when u actually think is not fair and then u just feel another puppet in someones life but u know its not ur problem but the other person problem...if the other one cant see it that u can just go in circles... but its hard to fight when the other person would say anything ...and i mean anything to make u give up (and i lived this on first hand believe me)... no matter what her feelings are... who knows...does she? She needs help for the sake of herself and the people she gets involved with... its clearly obvious to me...
*hugs*