oracle

I know I already updated today but well I have been drinking and figure its time for another one...

first, I really wish I was poetic or at least smarter. I have a couple of poems in my head that when I write out sound stupid...so I guess in my head they will stay...

second...In feb I start a new course to do a new job...this is the job of all jobs...I am seriously questioning myself...up til now I have been able to 'get by' even controlling airplanes I feel I could fake my way through...you need plane B to fit between plane A and C...no problem I was the man...ask me which rules were in affect I couldn't tell you...my new job well not only does my life hang in the balance but so does that of my crew and whoever else maybe needing our assistance or whatever...I don't want to be over dramatic...I mean people have been doing the job I will be doing for years without any fatalities...I am just scared that I am not smart enough or capiable enough to do it...and I can't come back to my old job..I can't live in Saskatchewan another second...

anyway, I am sure this journal will be changed by sober oracle tomorrow.