oracle

well, I move next weekend. I am so not looking forward to it..the only saving grace is my dad is coming to help. I have tons of prepacking to do.
I was in Regina today (about 45 minutes from my home) The weather has been awful all year but today, well it had the feel and look of snow. Last year winter started way too early so I thought we would have a longer summer this year. We didn't have a summer and it looks like fall is way early. I hate the change of seasons especially fall, it makes me so depressed (not that I wasn't before) So with every new season comes a fresh start...every time you move you have a fresh start. So far I have lived through 116 change of seasons, I have moved significantly 5 times (soon to be my 6th) and so far it seems like either I have blown each 'fresh start' or haven't made anything of them...I used to look forward to them as a legitimate chance to turn things around..but as I get older (30 in less then two weeks) I realize that I could move anywhere to do anything and I will be the same person...and as I reflect that person isn't someone I can be proud of that I even like being. An ex girlfriend once said when we first started dating (5 years ago) that I was single then and never married or in a real long relationship that maybe there was something wrong with me, I blew it off and came up with lots of reasons why I am single but really looking back and reflecting on who I truly am maybe there is something wrong, maybe I am destined to be alone and miserable for a long long time...
god I hate fall...


Nixon and I, thanks to angelus_am_I