oracle

I am not sure when things changed...I used to be happy, I had nothing but a pair of inline skates and a sega genisis...I slept on the floor of a guys house ate nothing but granola bars (sometimes dipping them in peanut butter if I had enough money) I had a horrible part time job selling inline skates and played semi pro roller hockey. I loved it...now I look at myself, an air traffic controller making good money own all kinds of very nice things wear nothing but expensive clothes from tommy or eddie bauer, drive a BMW....but I am not happy. I was out with a friend last night and I was talking to a 20 year old skater girl, a girl who would have loved me when I was younger (not cause I was hot or whatever) but because I was fun to be around cause I was having fun. It hit me that I am not this person I have become. I try to compensate by saying I have to be professional, that my tattoo's and piercings is all I need to keep me remembering who I was...but its not enough. unfortunately when I put on some of my old skater clothes it didn't look or feel right...I have gained weight I dont skate and have become what I used to hate. The girls I 'should' date bore me the girls I would love to date (sg's and the member type girls) - don't want anything to do with me... i am having a serious personality crisis and the last few days I have solved it by drinking lots but all that has done is complicate things even more. I don't know what to do, I don't know who I am. I am hoping I move to BC, hang out on the ocean in a california atmosphere and I will be home again...so for now I will blame it on the praries....sorry to all the friends that were on my list and deleted in a drunken fit....I have been feeling very over looked in life and on the site so I apologize for being so rash
okay on the upside of this down week or two...THEY ARE BACK...4 of em this time