So, as with anytime I get sick I become very sensitive and sentimental. So combine that with car and money problems along with going on a 6 month course in less then two weeks I have been a mess the last few days. Everything seems to amplify how alone I am. Stupid things are really playing with my mind. I have been noticing girls around...the odd bits of skin (no not T&A) but abs, calfs stupid things...then I try and recall what its like to run your hand across the soft skin of a woman...I was watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" and ray and deborah were playing a game and at one point they had to kiss like he was going to war the next morning...I really started missing having someone to kiss...someone to hold, someone to talk to and stare into their eyes for hours. I am begining to think I will never even hold hands with a girl again let alone have sex.

So, anyway, like I said at the begining I am going away for 6 months...I am taking my computer but I will be without internet for a week or two while I am in transit.

OH and very important..anyone who has the shortline railroad I will gladly pay you $10 000 for it