optimism

Alright.
It's been a week and I'm starting to panic. She said something to me the other day that really threw me for a loop. I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't think she realizes that what she asked might work at some point down the line. I'm the type to over think things and I don't like not understanding. So I'll try to remain calm. She's on holidays though, for the week, so I can't really ask her what it was about. This will be a really hard test for me. I'm mostly afraid that she'll just not be interested when she comes back. I'm not one to be calm about such things. I try to show calm, but I am like a pit of snakes inside. On top of that, I don't think I'm any good at relationships. I'm too smothering, I'm sure of it. It doesn't last forever, but the beginnings are the hardest for me. Sigh. I need sedatives or something.

This is for her:

If there was a zombie one, I'd add that too.