Sex, sex , sex. All I seem to think about most of the time. Probably because I haven't reached that point in my life yet. Yes, it's not a common thing to see around these parts. Most days, I can handle being alone and not having a partner. But there are times when living completely sexless is just blah. Masturbation gets tiring and old after a while. It becomes a routine. I am beginning to realize that my sheltered upbringing has really quashed my ability to approach sex.
Oddly, my parents were vastly more liberal with my younger siblings. I was basically pressured to be an asexual being who excelled in intellectual matters. Also, the whole dogma of sex being evil and wrong was crammed down my throat most of my life. It's like I want to have sex so bad at times, yet can't allow myself to go for it or let anyone near.(Not that anyone in the past few years has wanted anything remotely romantic or sexual with me) I have no idea what to do about that. I also have no idea how to flirt or anything. So it's been almost a miracle that I have had gfs in the past.
Kinda awkward but getting that out in the open makes me feel a bit better. Even if I am alone in this crazy existence.
Oddly, my parents were vastly more liberal with my younger siblings. I was basically pressured to be an asexual being who excelled in intellectual matters. Also, the whole dogma of sex being evil and wrong was crammed down my throat most of my life. It's like I want to have sex so bad at times, yet can't allow myself to go for it or let anyone near.(Not that anyone in the past few years has wanted anything remotely romantic or sexual with me) I have no idea what to do about that. I also have no idea how to flirt or anything. So it's been almost a miracle that I have had gfs in the past.
Kinda awkward but getting that out in the open makes me feel a bit better. Even if I am alone in this crazy existence.
It's kinda weird and im hoping to get it back at some point.
I miss wanting someone if you know what i mean. x