opethfan777

Feeling kinda down and out lately. I don't even have a reason to feel this way. It's like my life is moving forward but my brain continues to try to drag me down and hold me back. I can't help but feel empty most of the time. It's like this cycle of work, eat, sleep, that never ends. I come home and feel like doing nothing. I don't really have anyone to talk to, unless my roommate is around or it's the weekened. I am trying my best to feel positive but I don't think I have ever felt this alone in my life.

Which is annoying because I am finally not really struggling with my anxiety disorder anymore. Sure, at work I get to see people and they are nice. But outside of work, trying to be social is hell. Most people take one look at me and never bother to speak to me. Kinda fed up with it. Am I really that uninviting? If I didn't forge the friendships I had now, years ago, I would be completely alone. It just seems like everyone around me gets social situations and I get tossed out or ignored. Unless it's nerd time.

Sometimes I wonder, why do I even bother? Maybe I should just live in a cave since so few people seem to care I exist at all.