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openchakra

Kansas City

Member Since 2006

Followers 15 Following 36

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Sunday Aug 03, 2008

Aug 3, 2008
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i've been reading Stephen King's the stand. I've never read it before. I never realized it but I'm a big fan of Apocalyptic scenarios. The first 250 pages are really groovy, of the whole world falling apart. Quite engrossing.

So it looks like I'll be off to LA next weekend. I haven't been back in a few years. I'm thinking in lieu of having a friend pick me up at LAX, just taking the Metro up to Hollywood. Get a chance to walk around my old neighborhood. (Hollywood Blvd. between La Brea and Vine). It'll be a nice mini-getaway. Maybe I can swing over to the ocean and actually jump in real quick. That's the one thing I'm not a fan of Northern California's version of the Pacific. Abit too cold to jump in. Some people do though. Very hardy people they must be.

I had a long skype chat with a friend of mine. And we talked about near the end of it. This theory I have with beautiful people and ugly people. and how they have the most in common with each other. They are outcasts in their own different ways. The opposites on the same spectrum. The never wanted and the always envied.
I've always felt completely ugly, and she's been beautiful all of her life. It's funny. We are both similarly insecure.
And lonely.

Loneliness can be an unsettling thing. However it's also a strangely compelling companion, especially when you want to write about loneliness or numerous outbranching feelings that outcrop from that.

What's an interesting juxtaposition? Writing a happy song when you are severely depressed. It's totally interesting. Mostly, because the lyrics somehow find a way you make you feel worse, yet you can still see why it's happy to most people. It's like a choice. The words are presented in a way that give you the option to choose whether or not you will take it as happy.

I used to be a masochist, and I loved beating myself up for all sorts of stupid things. Not so much anymore.
However, I do sometimes miss the comfort in being sad sometimes. Rarely yet sometimes.

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