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Sunday May 02, 2010

May 1, 2010
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I need some advice to clear my mind. I did something very very hard today emotionally. I have never been in a situation like this before and no matter what the out come I was going to end up hurting someone, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I was staying with a friend I've known for 8+ years, he is like a brother to me, I was sleeping on his couch until I could get the money to fill out the apartment application before moving my stuff in, I wanted it to be official. He recently had knee surgery and needs help around the place which I was fine with but it seems like nothing ever goes the way you want it to in life. A few weeks ago I lost my job and my final paycheck wasn't anything to be proud of. I really couldn't pay the rent he was asking for, well I could but I'd be broke off my ass and he lived in such an inconvenient location to find a new job life was just going to be so hard staying there and I wasn't sure if he was gonna let me stay if I could not pay rent.

If things couldn't get worse my mother contacted me, she recently went threw a divorce, hates her job, and lives along. More less she is an emotional wreck and needs someone there her. I could live with her for free and find a job easy, the whole basement is like a small apartment and the location to find a job is amazing.

So I made the decision to move in with my mother. As my friend of 8 years was gone with his friends for the day I packed my stuff and left. Leaving him a note saying family comes first and I'm sorry beyond belief. I even left him my fishing boat and fishing gear as an I'm sorry. I know he didn't have all the money to cover rent but he was the only friend I had and he has tons of friends I'm hoping can help him around the house and loan him the money if needed or he could get a money loan. He has a job, I don't, this was so hard to do but it was in my best interest. As they say, you can't please all the people all the time.

If you were in his shoes would you hate me? Would you not want to be my friend anymore? If you were in my shoes, what would you have done? I feel so guilty for this but like I said, no matter what I did it was going to hurt someone and if I stayed with him it was going to hurt both myself and my mother.
bettejean:
I think if I was your friend I wouldn't have mind if you had told me instead of leaving a note. =/ but that's my opinion. I think you did the right thing for you and your mom to move in with her.
May 2, 2010

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