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for those few and far between who ar familliar with me here, they know i am, pretty much an unhappy person who, occassionaly lashes out in anger. i feel the reason for this is i have strayed from my deep sprituality and path. the context that i view spirituality in is very unorthodox for a white american male. however it is the truth, in my eyes. i believe islam is the purest interpretation of god, allah, and that is my foundation. i am in no way a die hard tradtionalist. i can't adhere totally to any one religion. i derrive a large majority from a splinter group of the nation of isam, the 5% nation. because i grew up around these types of things and people i gained a very strong knowledge o f true history and the effects of racism and slavery to displaced africans all over the world. due to this knowledg i feel i developed a form of self hatred and extreme guilt for what members of my race have done. maybe that is the root of my internal suffering, a form of self inflicted punishment.

for anyone interested check out this site. this is the truest explanation of my beliefs.lordjamar