Win one for the Schembechler...
A famous University of Michigan football coach died yesterday.
He died on the eve of what is probably the most hyped and anticipated edition of the greatest rivalry in college football, Michigan vs. Ohio State. But if you want to know how this really went down, check it out:
Scene: Ann Arbor, Michigan. Wednesday evening in the University of Michigan Athletic Building, office of Lloyd Carr, the current head coach of the Wolverines. Bo Schembechler enters the door as Lloyd looks up expectantly from his desk, which is covered in scouting reports, game tapes, and other preparation materials for the upcoming game against Ohio State.
BO: Evening, Lloyd. I came over as fast as I could. It sounds like you had something to ask me. And trust me, I'd like to help you beat OSU, so just tell me what you need. In fact, I think that you could possibly be successful with a containment rush-
LLOYD: Ah, Bo, you know that Ron English (Michigan defensive coordinator) has been saving my ass this year with his boys. They'll do ok. I was hoping for some help for you regarding inspiration for the team.
BO: You want me to help you with a pregame speech? It's been a while, but I bet I could do it.
LLOYD: Actually, I have a speech already worked out. It's kind of derived from the "win one for the Gipper" speech. And I was going to use you instead of the Gipper.
BO: Me? Really? You're going to ask the team to win this game for me? Lloyd, I don't know what to say... [tears begin to form]
LLOYD: Actually, before you go too far, I need to ask you for this favor.
BO: [resolutely] Anything! I will do anything to help you all win this week!
LLOYD: Bo, in the Gipper speech, most of the motivation from the speech comes from the fact that the Gipper is dead.
BO: Yeah, you're right about that.
LLOYD: And I want to use you in my pregame speech, but... [looks at BO]
BO: [not understanding] But what?
LLOYD: Bo, you're alive. [BO looks initially shocked, but as LLOYD continues, understanding spreads across his face] Bo, I know this is crazy to ask you, but I'm not usually that good at pregame speeches and Ohio State is just so good this year that I know our boys need something extra if we're going to pull off this upset and, well, I was hoping you could die sometime before Saturday's game. [looks down at the floor, ashamed to look BO in the eyes]
BO: [resolutely] I'll do it.
LLOYD: [head snaps up] What? Really?
BO: Yes, Lloyd. You're not that good of a coach and you're right that our boys will need all of the inspiration they can get to beat those Buckeyes. What's more, I've lived a long a fruitful life. I can't imagine dying in a better way. The greatest coach ever for the greatest college football program ever making the greatest sacrifice ever to inspire his team to victory in the greatest edition of the greatest rivalry ever. It will be... [looking into distance while searching for the right word]
LLOYD: Great?
BO: [looks at LLOYD with disgust] Lloyd, if you could come up with any original thoughts maybe I wouldn't have to make this sacrifice... [regains the thoughtfulness he had before LLOYD's interruption] The word I would use would be "fitting." Yes, this is a fitting way for me to go out. So, Lloyd...
LLOYD: Yes?
BO: You tell those boys. You tell them to go out there. The odds are against them, sure, but you tell them to go out there and win one, win just this one, for the Schembechler. [gets a faraway and misty look in his eyes. As the tears form he quickly wipes them away with the back of his hand] Ah, this stupid Notre Dame crap always makes people cry. The Gipper, Rudy, all of it! I don't want the boys crying, though, Lloyd! You hear me?! I want them kicking ass! You hear me?!?!
LLOYD: Absolutely, Bo! ... I owe you.
BO: Just get this one win for me. That's all I ask. [begins to walk out the door] Take care of my team, Lloyd. Take care of those boys.
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Predicted final score: UM: 34, OSU: 17
A famous University of Michigan football coach died yesterday.
He died on the eve of what is probably the most hyped and anticipated edition of the greatest rivalry in college football, Michigan vs. Ohio State. But if you want to know how this really went down, check it out:
Scene: Ann Arbor, Michigan. Wednesday evening in the University of Michigan Athletic Building, office of Lloyd Carr, the current head coach of the Wolverines. Bo Schembechler enters the door as Lloyd looks up expectantly from his desk, which is covered in scouting reports, game tapes, and other preparation materials for the upcoming game against Ohio State.
BO: Evening, Lloyd. I came over as fast as I could. It sounds like you had something to ask me. And trust me, I'd like to help you beat OSU, so just tell me what you need. In fact, I think that you could possibly be successful with a containment rush-
LLOYD: Ah, Bo, you know that Ron English (Michigan defensive coordinator) has been saving my ass this year with his boys. They'll do ok. I was hoping for some help for you regarding inspiration for the team.
BO: You want me to help you with a pregame speech? It's been a while, but I bet I could do it.
LLOYD: Actually, I have a speech already worked out. It's kind of derived from the "win one for the Gipper" speech. And I was going to use you instead of the Gipper.
BO: Me? Really? You're going to ask the team to win this game for me? Lloyd, I don't know what to say... [tears begin to form]
LLOYD: Actually, before you go too far, I need to ask you for this favor.
BO: [resolutely] Anything! I will do anything to help you all win this week!
LLOYD: Bo, in the Gipper speech, most of the motivation from the speech comes from the fact that the Gipper is dead.
BO: Yeah, you're right about that.
LLOYD: And I want to use you in my pregame speech, but... [looks at BO]
BO: [not understanding] But what?
LLOYD: Bo, you're alive. [BO looks initially shocked, but as LLOYD continues, understanding spreads across his face] Bo, I know this is crazy to ask you, but I'm not usually that good at pregame speeches and Ohio State is just so good this year that I know our boys need something extra if we're going to pull off this upset and, well, I was hoping you could die sometime before Saturday's game. [looks down at the floor, ashamed to look BO in the eyes]
BO: [resolutely] I'll do it.
LLOYD: [head snaps up] What? Really?
BO: Yes, Lloyd. You're not that good of a coach and you're right that our boys will need all of the inspiration they can get to beat those Buckeyes. What's more, I've lived a long a fruitful life. I can't imagine dying in a better way. The greatest coach ever for the greatest college football program ever making the greatest sacrifice ever to inspire his team to victory in the greatest edition of the greatest rivalry ever. It will be... [looking into distance while searching for the right word]
LLOYD: Great?
BO: [looks at LLOYD with disgust] Lloyd, if you could come up with any original thoughts maybe I wouldn't have to make this sacrifice... [regains the thoughtfulness he had before LLOYD's interruption] The word I would use would be "fitting." Yes, this is a fitting way for me to go out. So, Lloyd...
LLOYD: Yes?
BO: You tell those boys. You tell them to go out there. The odds are against them, sure, but you tell them to go out there and win one, win just this one, for the Schembechler. [gets a faraway and misty look in his eyes. As the tears form he quickly wipes them away with the back of his hand] Ah, this stupid Notre Dame crap always makes people cry. The Gipper, Rudy, all of it! I don't want the boys crying, though, Lloyd! You hear me?! I want them kicking ass! You hear me?!?!
LLOYD: Absolutely, Bo! ... I owe you.
BO: Just get this one win for me. That's all I ask. [begins to walk out the door] Take care of my team, Lloyd. Take care of those boys.
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Predicted final score: UM: 34, OSU: 17
subrosa:
Not entirely implausible. Bo woulda done it.