onesecondmore

not much is going on in my life lately. my birthday was good. i took a few days off. i spent time with the folks most important to me- my family, the girl i'm seeing, and one of my best friends.

i've really spent more time lately with her than the girl. maybe that's a no-no. i just feel better when i'm around her. i laugh harder with her than anyone else. i find my face sore from smiling at the end of a visit. when i leave, i feel a slab of ice slide back over my heart.

i dunno. maybe i'm just not over her.

i hate it how when she does something really great for me or we're just hanging out watching a movie, enjoying each other's company- this thought creeps in...

"this is who you should have spent the rest of your life with, and you fucked it up."

i don't know why i do this to myself. it's as if i want some trouble in my life.

EDIT: oh yeah, i almost forgot. my father forgot my fucking birthday. almost a week later, and i still haven't heard from him.