bits of memory pulled from dreams and read off like an asshole:
we're chillin' at work, and this guy comes in and starts eggin' us on.
callin' us losers so i jump real high and hit the guy in his neck and then he starts to kick my ass ninja style, pullin' out chakra and shit.
then there's these two hawt broads in a broken down hotel in the middle of quarantined zone and like ones just standing there and other well we're making mayonaise on the bed. then the music on the touch screen pad gets all fux0r'd so we gotta hold the mayo, and then we can't fuckin' make a decision on what to play.
back at work i get the upper hand and pull some kinda stockin' over the zen one's head and he's totally choking and dying and i keep punching him in the eye (you should see the room, totally trashed and nobody else is gonna clean it, lol!). Suddenly his face twitches and this oatmeal like substance rises from out of his mouth and fills the stocking. White flash, it's arnold schwarznegger renacting the scene for his new movie and he's making Mars lack of oyxgen faces and fillin' up the leggin'. White flash.
Ring ring!??
"hello"
"yeah i'd like to ask you a question about a product"
"uh well sure, i'm kinda busy"
"do you guys sell fake vagina's?"
"yeah we got a whole assort-"
"DINGDING You're on Z100's PHONETAPS, *carnival music*, how does it feel TO BE TODAY'S BLAMMO OF MONTH!?"
"wtf!"
:lol:
"Do I know you?"
"No we never met"
And then a freakin' hippo escaped the zoo!
Mind you these were minature hippos.
But still, CRAYAZAY!
then enough a true story.
last night, a meth head came in the shop.
he had black marker all over his face in little lines and from far away it looked like a retarded beard.
in his right eye a blown vessel, he smelled like ladies perfume.
he wanders about the store opening glass dildo packages and takin' hangers off clothes, grabbing random movies off the shelves.
i tell him he's paying for all of them, as well as the two bottles of lubricant in his leather coat pocket.
he asks me if he can try on a couple of women's thongs, i tell him to get fucked. then he asks if we have any camo shirts, i say yeah and he adds it to his heaping pile he's collected from within the store.
8 packs of condoms, 3 anime flicks.. boxes of lube.. neon thongs..
when he goes to pay for it all he hands us four credit cards and his license. none of the credit cards are his. he asks if he can use his mom's, we tell him to leave.
fucking weird.
we're chillin' at work, and this guy comes in and starts eggin' us on.
callin' us losers so i jump real high and hit the guy in his neck and then he starts to kick my ass ninja style, pullin' out chakra and shit.
then there's these two hawt broads in a broken down hotel in the middle of quarantined zone and like ones just standing there and other well we're making mayonaise on the bed. then the music on the touch screen pad gets all fux0r'd so we gotta hold the mayo, and then we can't fuckin' make a decision on what to play.
back at work i get the upper hand and pull some kinda stockin' over the zen one's head and he's totally choking and dying and i keep punching him in the eye (you should see the room, totally trashed and nobody else is gonna clean it, lol!). Suddenly his face twitches and this oatmeal like substance rises from out of his mouth and fills the stocking. White flash, it's arnold schwarznegger renacting the scene for his new movie and he's making Mars lack of oyxgen faces and fillin' up the leggin'. White flash.
Ring ring!??
"hello"
"yeah i'd like to ask you a question about a product"
"uh well sure, i'm kinda busy"
"do you guys sell fake vagina's?"
"yeah we got a whole assort-"
"DINGDING You're on Z100's PHONETAPS, *carnival music*, how does it feel TO BE TODAY'S BLAMMO OF MONTH!?"
"wtf!"
:lol:
"Do I know you?"
"No we never met"
And then a freakin' hippo escaped the zoo!
Mind you these were minature hippos.
But still, CRAYAZAY!
then enough a true story.
last night, a meth head came in the shop.
he had black marker all over his face in little lines and from far away it looked like a retarded beard.
in his right eye a blown vessel, he smelled like ladies perfume.
he wanders about the store opening glass dildo packages and takin' hangers off clothes, grabbing random movies off the shelves.
i tell him he's paying for all of them, as well as the two bottles of lubricant in his leather coat pocket.
he asks me if he can try on a couple of women's thongs, i tell him to get fucked. then he asks if we have any camo shirts, i say yeah and he adds it to his heaping pile he's collected from within the store.
8 packs of condoms, 3 anime flicks.. boxes of lube.. neon thongs..
when he goes to pay for it all he hands us four credit cards and his license. none of the credit cards are his. he asks if he can use his mom's, we tell him to leave.
fucking weird.
but i always wished a radio station or someone would prank call me, just to break up the monotony of perverts.
they like to ask questions, like how does this or that fake pussy look or feel... i dispatch with those fuckers quickly
i have no patience for that