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onemorepanic

Member Since 2004

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Sunday Jun 11, 2006

Jun 11, 2006
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Well I came upstate to hang with my father. Get away, write my ass off, for those who've been paying attention for the past 2 years this is usual occurence. The things retarded in my life get too retarded to stand and well some might call it fleeing, I call it vacation. A brief sojourn away from bullshit that goes hand in hand with living in the same small town ye grew up in. I'm not gonna iron it out for you. You get it. I won't doubt that.

I guess the problem now is, is that he's in the hospital. Past couple of days complaining about his chest, last night it became a bit too much for him to move. Uncle's brother who happens to live up the road, gets a call from me. He's gotta get to some care. His speech barely legible as I pack a ziploc bag full of the most necessary medications. Asking him over and over again to restate the name of the fifth bottle of meds, i'm missing, digging through a veritable pharmacy of insulin, inhalers, anti-depressants, painkillers.. etc..

I didn't go with him to the hospital, but before you freak out, cuz that's a heavy entrance to a paragraph, he called today he's ok, or so he says, he's feeling better. It's a blood clot or pneumonia, and says he'll be home in a few days. He's in and out of the hospital so often these days, something like pneumonia's no big deal, it sounds like he's trying to suggest over the phone. I could tally it all up and I'd run out of fingers and toes reading off the list of what he's gotten, had, and has. It's one of those quit smoking ad's right outside your bedroom window, and for fuck's idea knows why i'm sitting here chain smoking.

I haven't slept since he's left. I beat myself up all night thinking I should have gone with him. For some fucked up reason coming up here, I knew something bad was going to happen to him, and no not keeping with the par. Something much worse. And as that scene unfolded, I felt the exact rhythm of the piece upfront and personal for the first time, the meds, diggin' out insurance cards, and identification in a panic. Grabbing him a sweater, making sure none of the pockets had any half filled bags of grass or paraphenlia in em... and I froze.

I'm going to stay here. And I watched television, and drank coffee until the hospital called at 10 oh clock this morning. They patched me through, he sounded better, he did. He speaks like it's a common cold. I guess there's always that point where we just become hardened to our adversities. Cuz i've got it too, and when he ran off their thoughts I sighed in relief. He's probably not going to die this time.

An hour ago, I called home, my brother answered, my mother wasn't there.
To hear his voice sink as I explained what's going on.. yeah, that's tough.




VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
anthonycasanova:
from everything i know, activate is done for a bit.. since tub ring is still flying "high" -- or at least working.

there should be a new TR disc out by winter, so Rob told me. also, theyll be touring in canada, east coast and midwest towards the end of july. so open up your calendar.
Jun 13, 2006
xgonexkissinx:
hope he's okay baby
Jun 13, 2006

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