Kind of floundering right now. Not sure which direction to go. I just turned down a contract job in Israel. There wasn't enough info and I wasn't ready to leave just yet doing that shit again. I am sure the money would have been great, but I am just not ready yet.
I missed the people I am hanging with now. There are not many of them but it is good to be back. I was restless right away and have since calmed down.
I do need to figure out what I am going to do and where I am going to go. I still want to go to Germany but I am not hearing shit on the job front in Germany. I have applied to 9 jobs so far and have been turned down for 4 of them and heard nothing on the other 5.
All this idle time is not good for me. I tend to not be a productive member of society when I have this much idle time. I have been on a 6 week bender at this point. I have started exercising again and that is rough. I am out of shape. I wasn't in great shape when I got home and then took a month and did nothing but get hammered.
Xmas is coming up and I cannot stand the holidays. I always feel uncomfortable and not quite right.
I have also found that my social anxiety and my interaction with others is even worse than it used to be. Spending 3 years over there doing that shit didn't help. Now when I go to social places I am a fucking mess. I usually just sit in the corner and feel uncomfortable.
I used to be good with women and talking to people, but that was a long time ago.
I just ordered a new laptop as mine is on its last leg. I am also about to buy a new pistol.
Not much else to say. I have to do some serious soul searching and figure out what the fuck I am going to do with myself.
I missed the people I am hanging with now. There are not many of them but it is good to be back. I was restless right away and have since calmed down.
I do need to figure out what I am going to do and where I am going to go. I still want to go to Germany but I am not hearing shit on the job front in Germany. I have applied to 9 jobs so far and have been turned down for 4 of them and heard nothing on the other 5.
All this idle time is not good for me. I tend to not be a productive member of society when I have this much idle time. I have been on a 6 week bender at this point. I have started exercising again and that is rough. I am out of shape. I wasn't in great shape when I got home and then took a month and did nothing but get hammered.
Xmas is coming up and I cannot stand the holidays. I always feel uncomfortable and not quite right.
I have also found that my social anxiety and my interaction with others is even worse than it used to be. Spending 3 years over there doing that shit didn't help. Now when I go to social places I am a fucking mess. I usually just sit in the corner and feel uncomfortable.
I used to be good with women and talking to people, but that was a long time ago.
I just ordered a new laptop as mine is on its last leg. I am also about to buy a new pistol.
Not much else to say. I have to do some serious soul searching and figure out what the fuck I am going to do with myself.
good luck, I hope you can get a job in Germany.
Well you have had a hard couple of years, I think you needed to get hammered for a month just to celebrate.
I love Christmas, I like to buy people stuff and I just like the way things feel.
I know how that is, I can't talk to people at all anymore unless I know them, I have social anxiety and when I go out I never talk to anyone, I find it so hard to make new friends.
What kind of laptop are you going to get.