I work in a state run museum, which means our funding is dependent on how many people come in. Currently, our year goal is 1/8th of the State's population (it will keep going up until it is greater than the world's population at some point). We suck. We honestly suck, and no one comes in.
I've been asked to fudge numbers by a few hundred in the past (and yes, the state considers this fraud), but I was legitimately told by my boss to add 11,000 people as "outreach services". This number conveniently works out to the exact number we needed to not fail our goal for a 4th year in a row.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my job was actually threatened if I refused to commit fraud. Just let that sink in.
Now where are my goddamn cigarettes? I need to calm the fuck down.
