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one_pure_thought

East Greenwich

Member Since 2003

Followers 7 Following 14

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Friday Jun 18, 2004

Jun 18, 2004
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Emily now has a thing where she likes to get into my desk drawer and take naps. Twice I've shut her in for over 10 minutes without either of us noticing.

Sooner than later I'm going to have to figure out a purpose in my life. It's going to have to extend beyond jobs, money, women, and friends; and into what i want to acomplish by the time I die.

It would be nice to leave some sort of impact on the world that will leave to my rememberance, but I also see that as a kind of boring thing to do.

I suppose I'd like people to remember me for the values I had more than anything else. There are so many people out there that are remembered for things that really were about being at the right place at the right time. Alexander Graham Bell. Thomas Edison. The Fucking Beatles. What those people are remembered for probably isn't a true reflection of what they did. It's like the pacifist that is remembered as the guy that killed someone in self defense.

I need some time away from my family to figure out what I want to be. They have all these expectations with me and I have such a history with them it's like I have no movement whatsoever. The general conception of the family is that I'm going to make tons of money and support them all because I am supposed to be the most normal and smartest one in the family. I don't think having a job that I hate and living a life where I have no contact with anyone else is going to lead to me having a better life.

I hope that I can have a GOOD day soon. i want a special day. Like the first time you drive to a place alone. The days were you were surprised by how well the people around you acted towards you. I remember in 8th grade I took a trip out to an outlet with my siblings and their friends. On the way home Tom Petty came on, and for some reason I had this overwhelming feeling of happiness, like someone is always going to be thinking fondly of me.

I miss those days in Jr. high were I'd be absent a couple of days and everyone would miss me, even the teachers. I know it's weird to say it, but honestly 8th grade was the best year of my life. I was stupid enough to not know what i was missing and everyone around me respected me for who i was. Gah! Fun Days.

I feel like resting. Not sleeping, but resting.
shicawgo:
The moon controls the tides. Inteligence dictates that the potential for that energy phenom to hold true regarding other planets and whatenot is not obsurd or unfounded. It's those people who refuse to accept "possiblity" that hold back human evolution.
Jun 20, 2004

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