A group of dancers started this for for a friend of mine and I thought it was pretty funny:
BELLY DANCE BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
***Please remember to attach a REAL picture of yourself to this application otherwise we will have to reject your application!
Name:
Age: ____
Date of Birth: __/__/__
City of Residence: _________
On a scale of one to five (one being very little, five being very high), rate yourself on the following questions and please give a brief written response as to why you rated yourself this way:
Are you easily distracted by shiny or jingly objects? _____
How disturbed would you be if your belly dancer was showing large amounts of cleavage? _____
Do random people staring at your belly dancers body cause you mental anguish? _____
Do fake accessories (hair, eyelashes, push-up bras) scare you? _____
How much money are you willing to spend in support of your belly dancers habits? _____
How willing are you to get up and dance? _____
How likely are you to attend your belly dancers various gigs? _____
How opposed are you to drinking alcohol or smoking hookahs? _____
If called upon to act as a bouncer, what is your capacity for violence? _____
How many tattoos would you like on your belly dancer (one being none, five being many)? _____
How many piercings would you like your belly dancer to have (one being none, five being many)? _____
How capable are you of giving honest opinions about costumes, make-up, or hair? _____
Acceptance as a Belly Dance Boyfriend qualifies you to become a member of our elite group of bodyguards, the BRUTE SQUAD. What do you feel are you best attributes for such a position:
Also please include a 500 word essay regarding why you qualify as a Belly dance Boyfriend and what your personal Mission Statement is:
Thank- You!
The Belly Dance Boyfriend Search Committee!
(and no I'm not taking application, but feel free to fill one out and I'll pass it along to her!)
BELLY DANCE BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
***Please remember to attach a REAL picture of yourself to this application otherwise we will have to reject your application!
Name:
Age: ____
Date of Birth: __/__/__
City of Residence: _________
On a scale of one to five (one being very little, five being very high), rate yourself on the following questions and please give a brief written response as to why you rated yourself this way:
Are you easily distracted by shiny or jingly objects? _____
How disturbed would you be if your belly dancer was showing large amounts of cleavage? _____
Do random people staring at your belly dancers body cause you mental anguish? _____
Do fake accessories (hair, eyelashes, push-up bras) scare you? _____
How much money are you willing to spend in support of your belly dancers habits? _____
How willing are you to get up and dance? _____
How likely are you to attend your belly dancers various gigs? _____
How opposed are you to drinking alcohol or smoking hookahs? _____
If called upon to act as a bouncer, what is your capacity for violence? _____
How many tattoos would you like on your belly dancer (one being none, five being many)? _____
How many piercings would you like your belly dancer to have (one being none, five being many)? _____
How capable are you of giving honest opinions about costumes, make-up, or hair? _____
Acceptance as a Belly Dance Boyfriend qualifies you to become a member of our elite group of bodyguards, the BRUTE SQUAD. What do you feel are you best attributes for such a position:
Also please include a 500 word essay regarding why you qualify as a Belly dance Boyfriend and what your personal Mission Statement is:
Thank- You!
The Belly Dance Boyfriend Search Committee!
(and no I'm not taking application, but feel free to fill one out and I'll pass it along to her!)
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Name: Noise
Age: ____ 25 this month
Date of Birth: _4_/_27_/_80_
City of Residence: _Nola________
On a scale of one to five (one being very little, five being very high), rate yourself on the following questions and please give a brief written response as to why you rated yourself this way:
Are you easily distracted by shiny or jingly objects? __5___
How disturbed would you be if your belly dancer was showing large amounts of cleavage? __1___
Do random people staring at your belly dancers body cause you mental anguish? __1___
Do fake accessories (hair, eyelashes, push-up bras) scare you? __1___
How much money are you willing to spend in support of your belly dancers habits? ___1__
How willing are you to get up and dance? ___5__
How likely are you to attend your belly dancers various gigs? _5____
How opposed are you to drinking alcohol or smoking hookahs? _1____
If called upon to act as a bouncer, what is your capacity for violence? __555555555555555555555555555555555555___
How many tattoos would you like on your belly dancer (one being none, five being many)? ___1,2,3,4,or 5__
How many piercings would you like your belly dancer to have (one being none, five being many)? __555555___
How capable are you of giving honest opinions about costumes, make-up, or hair? ___555555555__
Acceptance as a Belly Dance Boyfriend qualifies you to become a member of our elite group of bodyguards, the BRUTE SQUAD. What do you feel are you best attributes for such a position:
I'm BRUTally honest. I can be BRUTally rude. I have a sword. And a whip w/metal spikes on the end. And other various weapons here in N.O. and back in NYC.
Also please include a 500 word essay regarding why you qualify as a Belly dance Boyfriend and what your personal Mission Statement is:
My personal mission statement is cooler than anyone else's personal mission statement. I qualify because i'm better than everyone else at everything, and i'm always qualified for anything. I also like fire and explosives. If you need a getaway car from crazed paparazi or stalkerish fans, i'm a badass driver. I can cook food like nobody's business. I can drink more than most people, so i can take down wouldbe assassins by outdrinking them till they pass out.
All in all, five hundred words is just way too long. That's why I graduated from college. To not have to write 15 page papers any more. Granted, five hundred words is a mere scratch on a piece of paper. I think I covered it all in the first paragraph anyway. Besides, I'm sure that after reading countless essays of wanna-be-alpha-male drivel, a nice quick essay of mildly verbose brevity will be a relief. (Note the little personal joke in there. Yes, geek humor as well)
And on that note. . .
Let's get back to the program.
[Edited on Apr 09, 2005 5:50PM]
~Kitty~