Ok so another night of no sleep. i think i really have a problem. i've been wanting to write. but i feel like i have nothing to say. i want to talk to people but again, same problem. this town is killing me. but thank god i'm getting away for a week. i'm going to the beach this saturday. the only snag is that i'm going with my family. good thing is that they are paying for all the shit, bad things is that i'll be wtih my famliy. now i love my family but last year when we all went to the beach, i was there with tifanie. so i had someone other than my parents and sister to talk to. but since we broke up, jesus it;s been almost a year now. i have so many problems. i need to figure my self out and stop sitting on the couch and watching TV, or sitting on the couch and reading, or sitting in front of the god damn computer not doing much of anything. need some motivation, i really want to write. that rant i did the other day was great. i love doing that. how does one make a living ranting? i could become a politicion, but i don't think i'm very political.
So i work with this girl who has a name i just don't want to type it out, for two reasons. One: i hate her and wish she would die. Two: if she turns up dead i don't want to get blamed for it. but the point is, i'm looking for a good debate. a good discussion, and i was talking with the chick tonite and she told me not to speak to her sister about socialism. because she has so many theorys on it, and blah blah blah. but i'm thinking YAY i want to have an argument about socialism. do you ever do that? if someone has a position in one subject and you may agree with them, do you take the other view, just to piss them off? i don't know why i do it, i just think it's fun. Example. about 8 years ago i was talking to some kid about this political prisoner in philly. you may know him his name was or is Mumia. he was the guy to they said killed a cop during some protest, but the guy wasn't even there. so all my friends at the time were really pissed about it. and were protesting it and all that shit. and i like to be devil's advocate. so the leader of this little group comes up to me and he's like hey man you should protest this thing with us you know it's so wrong what they are doing to this guy, they are going to give him the chair. OH NO. so i look this guy straight in the face and say. let him fry! no i thought it was funny, sure it was a good cause and they guy doesnt deserve to die for something he didn't do, but hey i don't care. is that a problem? i'm laughing right now, it was great. i don't do that so much anymore, i miss it. i think it's cause i don't talk to that many people anymore, i feel that i have lost the ablitly to converse. can that happen? i don't know how to start a conversation anymore, i don't know how to talk to people. i used to be ok. sure i'm quiet and shy and keep to my self most of the time, but if some one comes up to me and starts talking i talk back and i can keep the convo going for a little while at least. now i don't know what the fuck to say. i have no more stories, i have nothing to say. could it be cause i haven't been doing anything at all? i've been sitting in my room reading or watching TV or listening to Music. i need help. or could it be i just have not found the right person to talk to. that is the best, when you can just talk to someone about nothing at all and it's not boring, and it's just nice. i miss that, i need to find that girl, where the fuck is she!! my house is freezing, i'm listening to a mix that i got from some girl at the bar last week. Complete success. MixTape Madness was so much fun, i got so much new music. and i'm learning more and more about these girls that i've been talking to. i need a drink, Hi i'm an alcholic. it's 4 30 in the morning the bars are closed everywere, except maybe the west coast, i don't think i even have any beer in the fridge and if i do, it's 10 months old. i should have a party. do you like my random thoughts? so i'm leaving my house for a week and my dog is gonna be in the kennel. my one question is, should i leave the AC on? i'm thinking No, no one will be here so who am i cooling down? the couch that keeps my ass warm.
Ahhh. i love cigarettes. Birthday party tonight. the birthday girl has instructed me that if she gets too fucked up that she is staying at my house. now i have no problem with that, but i do have a problem with getting so fucked up, so late at night, then wanting to get up at ass holes o'clock in the morning to take your drunk ass back to your car. i don't like drugs. i don't do them anymore for a reason. i can't remember what that reason is. i dated a girl for a long time who smoked weed, and for some strange reason she thought i didn't like her doing it, the whole time we were together she didn't smoke around me at all. i don't get that, i don't have a problem with drugs, if you like drugs, do them, i'll partake when the mood strikes me. but don't assume things about me. now if you was a crack head, then yes get some fucking help. weed isn't shit. Wow, ben folds five. hmm. anyway, cold, i have a hoodie on, it's 90 degrees outside and i have on my hoodie. i want winter to hurry up and get here, i like cold weather. i should move. friend of mine is moving to brooklyn, maybe i'll join her and her husband and move back to NY, i can stay with my cousin for a while. i miss her. i'm gonna call her later. ok this is gettign really long and going nowhere. i'll talk to all of you later, thanks for listening.
So i work with this girl who has a name i just don't want to type it out, for two reasons. One: i hate her and wish she would die. Two: if she turns up dead i don't want to get blamed for it. but the point is, i'm looking for a good debate. a good discussion, and i was talking with the chick tonite and she told me not to speak to her sister about socialism. because she has so many theorys on it, and blah blah blah. but i'm thinking YAY i want to have an argument about socialism. do you ever do that? if someone has a position in one subject and you may agree with them, do you take the other view, just to piss them off? i don't know why i do it, i just think it's fun. Example. about 8 years ago i was talking to some kid about this political prisoner in philly. you may know him his name was or is Mumia. he was the guy to they said killed a cop during some protest, but the guy wasn't even there. so all my friends at the time were really pissed about it. and were protesting it and all that shit. and i like to be devil's advocate. so the leader of this little group comes up to me and he's like hey man you should protest this thing with us you know it's so wrong what they are doing to this guy, they are going to give him the chair. OH NO. so i look this guy straight in the face and say. let him fry! no i thought it was funny, sure it was a good cause and they guy doesnt deserve to die for something he didn't do, but hey i don't care. is that a problem? i'm laughing right now, it was great. i don't do that so much anymore, i miss it. i think it's cause i don't talk to that many people anymore, i feel that i have lost the ablitly to converse. can that happen? i don't know how to start a conversation anymore, i don't know how to talk to people. i used to be ok. sure i'm quiet and shy and keep to my self most of the time, but if some one comes up to me and starts talking i talk back and i can keep the convo going for a little while at least. now i don't know what the fuck to say. i have no more stories, i have nothing to say. could it be cause i haven't been doing anything at all? i've been sitting in my room reading or watching TV or listening to Music. i need help. or could it be i just have not found the right person to talk to. that is the best, when you can just talk to someone about nothing at all and it's not boring, and it's just nice. i miss that, i need to find that girl, where the fuck is she!! my house is freezing, i'm listening to a mix that i got from some girl at the bar last week. Complete success. MixTape Madness was so much fun, i got so much new music. and i'm learning more and more about these girls that i've been talking to. i need a drink, Hi i'm an alcholic. it's 4 30 in the morning the bars are closed everywere, except maybe the west coast, i don't think i even have any beer in the fridge and if i do, it's 10 months old. i should have a party. do you like my random thoughts? so i'm leaving my house for a week and my dog is gonna be in the kennel. my one question is, should i leave the AC on? i'm thinking No, no one will be here so who am i cooling down? the couch that keeps my ass warm.
Ahhh. i love cigarettes. Birthday party tonight. the birthday girl has instructed me that if she gets too fucked up that she is staying at my house. now i have no problem with that, but i do have a problem with getting so fucked up, so late at night, then wanting to get up at ass holes o'clock in the morning to take your drunk ass back to your car. i don't like drugs. i don't do them anymore for a reason. i can't remember what that reason is. i dated a girl for a long time who smoked weed, and for some strange reason she thought i didn't like her doing it, the whole time we were together she didn't smoke around me at all. i don't get that, i don't have a problem with drugs, if you like drugs, do them, i'll partake when the mood strikes me. but don't assume things about me. now if you was a crack head, then yes get some fucking help. weed isn't shit. Wow, ben folds five. hmm. anyway, cold, i have a hoodie on, it's 90 degrees outside and i have on my hoodie. i want winter to hurry up and get here, i like cold weather. i should move. friend of mine is moving to brooklyn, maybe i'll join her and her husband and move back to NY, i can stay with my cousin for a while. i miss her. i'm gonna call her later. ok this is gettign really long and going nowhere. i'll talk to all of you later, thanks for listening.