ombraboxer

I hate men, more then anything else right now. I tried to get over one guy, by "seeing" another, only to find my self in the middle of his marriage problems. He wanted it bad, but he said no right before we were about to...I've never had a guy say no to me before. It's not very good for my ego, in fact I feel pretty shitty right now. To make everything just that much better? I was browsing a site(kind of like myspace only not) and I found an ex. The only guy I have ever loved...I see that he's still with his girlfriend. My god what we had was so messed up. But for some reason, I messaged him.he hasn't been online yet..so he hasn't read it yet. I wonder if he will actually message me back. But why did I message him in the first place? Do I still have feelings for him? Or am I just missing me because of my latest relationship problems? I really hope there is atleast one decent guy out there, and for real girls, I get first dibs, I'm so sick of this shit.