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olsen

Member Since 2003

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Thursday Apr 29, 2004

Apr 29, 2004
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Ok. Moral Dilemna.

As a goodbye gift, my coworkers here got me a pendant of one of the traditional Maori carvings.

It's a fishhook, which represents abundance, and prosperity, and health and all that good stuff. The pendant is really beautiful, a nice weight and texture. ....But it's still a fishhook, and, as a vegan, I can't get past that.

I think it's a really nice gift, but I know I'll never wear it. It would feel wierd.

There is another traditional carving that I really love, a koru, which is a spiral, to look like an uncurling fern. New life, vitality, and all of that beautiful stuff. It reminds me of the Spiral Jetty on the way to Burning Man, and it reminds me that I came to NZ to move on, even in the face of my best friend's death. And I really wish that it had been the koru, not the fishhook on this necklace they gave me....

But is it right to take the gift back to the store and trade it for another pendant that is more in keeping with my beliefs? Then I can wear it more comfortably, but it won't be a gift anymore.

And the thought kind of makes me feel selfish. Greedy.

I have to decide tonight, as the only chance I'd have to trade it is tomorrow (if the store even allows it).

So what is it? Keep the lovely gift that I know will stay in the box? Or trade it and get my own version of what they chose, thereby tainting its status as a present??

HELP ME?!?



....Edited to add:

Well I was out with a friend tonight for sort of a last hurrah, and I explained my moral dilemna to him.....he suggested that they meant to get me something I like, so.... And then he said that he had a moral dilemna. And then he explained that he had just bought me a greenstone fishhook pendant!

Man, I know how to stick my foot in it!

....so I guess tomorrow morning I'm going to exchange the pendant my work got me, and he's going to exchange the pendant he bought me. At least I don't have to make the same decision twice, or feel bad about being dishonest about liking a gift I won't wear.....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
rustgiraffe:
i'm so sorry about your friend. but on a lighter note..yeah, its the thought that counts most of the time.
Apr 30, 2004
maxamillian:
me, i wouldn't change it. you might not wear it but it is a memento of your time with those people. fate made tham choose it, you didn't have it before so you've lost nothing.

also, as a vegan thing, what is it made from? you said its a fish hook. is it made from a fish bone or something? if it's made from an animal/fish then i can see why you wouldn't wear it, but if it's not then the representation it presents is how you percieve it.

It can either be a fish hook for catching & killing fish or it can be a fish hook given by dear friends as a sign of friendship. only you can get that one right in your own mind.

good luck smile
Apr 30, 2004

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