Sorry for my rant recently.
A lot has happened since then, really pointing out how much I depend on him. Sometimes he hurts me. But most of the time he supports me. So I hope nothing ever really pushes us apart.
I've had a hard week.
I've lost one of my closest friends, and I so badly want her back in my life, but she treated me in a way that was just...abusive and inexcusable. She's going through a big emotional upheaval, and I know her behavior is coming from that.....but it just doesn't make it okay to take it out on me. She could have asked me for help. She could have asked me for compassion. But instead she threw a ton of accusations at me, most of which were not even related to reality. I think she needed something to cry about, really. An excuse to get all of that bad feeling pouring out. Catharsis. I can understand all of that.
But she's pretty well destroyed me in the process.
She's given loaded apologies, but I don't actually see that she's sorry about what she put me through; just that she's sorry that things are ruined as a result. It's like she doesn't realize I'm a human with my own emotions - and physical needs. .....Among everything else, she left me walking home in a thunderstorm. I was out, sopping wet for 45 minutes.....and it killed my immune system. I've been sick for 4 days now.
So yeah.
I just can't figure out what to do. She's depressed. She needs help. She needs a friend.
But I can't stand by and be emotionally abused.
If she would actually apologize sincerely and promise never to treat me that way again, and I could believe that she wouldn't, I'd want her back in my life. ....But she's telling me she knows she was wrong, but she refuses to apologize.
I'm worried sick about her. I think she's deeply, chemically depressed.....and I worry that she's suicidal and it would be my fault for not reaching out.
.....So whose needs do I put first?
A lot has happened since then, really pointing out how much I depend on him. Sometimes he hurts me. But most of the time he supports me. So I hope nothing ever really pushes us apart.
I've had a hard week.
I've lost one of my closest friends, and I so badly want her back in my life, but she treated me in a way that was just...abusive and inexcusable. She's going through a big emotional upheaval, and I know her behavior is coming from that.....but it just doesn't make it okay to take it out on me. She could have asked me for help. She could have asked me for compassion. But instead she threw a ton of accusations at me, most of which were not even related to reality. I think she needed something to cry about, really. An excuse to get all of that bad feeling pouring out. Catharsis. I can understand all of that.
But she's pretty well destroyed me in the process.
She's given loaded apologies, but I don't actually see that she's sorry about what she put me through; just that she's sorry that things are ruined as a result. It's like she doesn't realize I'm a human with my own emotions - and physical needs. .....Among everything else, she left me walking home in a thunderstorm. I was out, sopping wet for 45 minutes.....and it killed my immune system. I've been sick for 4 days now.
So yeah.
I just can't figure out what to do. She's depressed. She needs help. She needs a friend.
But I can't stand by and be emotionally abused.
If she would actually apologize sincerely and promise never to treat me that way again, and I could believe that she wouldn't, I'd want her back in my life. ....But she's telling me she knows she was wrong, but she refuses to apologize.
I'm worried sick about her. I think she's deeply, chemically depressed.....and I worry that she's suicidal and it would be my fault for not reaching out.
.....So whose needs do I put first?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
corvus_pdx:
Huggles
salome:
Yours. Just tell her that you know she's going through a terrible time right now and you want to help, but you can't take the abuse from her. Tell her that when she's ready to treat you like a friend again, you'll be ready to be a friend again.