Sometimes I arrive here just out of sheer muscle memory. My mind goes blank as soon as I click the URL bar and before I know it, my fingers have taken over and somehow I've typed "suicidegirls.com".
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fox:
wow we are two pees-n-a-pod. I notice my fingers filandering the keyboard in the same second nature way..... suicidegirls.com
xsntt:
I was doing that same thing all last year while NOT officially a member anymore. It was upsetting. This clearly is the place for me, so I am back. I think you have tried to deny it too, like I did, but this is not something you have to give up. This is a connection to be proud of. This is something you were a part of. There is so little that we do in life that is part of a thing that is bigger than us, and there is no point in denying yourself that connection even when fate picks something you were not intending. I think of poor Alice Liddell, who was the one Charles Dodgeson (better known as Lewis Carroll) had tutored as a child. She was still known as the Alice from Alice and Wonderland up into her 80s. How must it have been for her to be famous for something she clearly had nothing at all to do with. However, sometimes embracing the oddities of fate allows you to become yourself more completely. I think it has with you, and so I find that inspiring. Be you, in spite of and because of what the world has made of you.