oliver

so when i went back to minnesota for a wedding a couple weeks ago, a mere few weeks after i moved away, i found a box of old letters in my parents basement. i thought i'd destroyed them years ago but i guess i was mistaken

anyway, they were written by a girl i was dating back in high school while she was in a drug treatment camp type thing, a real mess of a girl, heavy into coke, all that, but she was something, amazing looking, sweet as can be despite all teh drama, and she had a hold on me like crazy. anyway, i brought them home with me and have been reading through them today and they're a bit of a trip, actually they're a fucking nightmare

so i'm reading them and i can't believe the drama that i was coping with at 16-17 that didn't seem like anything at all at the time, if i was seeing her now i would have dropped her or lost my fucking head, but then i was just rolling with the punches and doing everything i could to keep things semi sane between us

the real trip is that at the same time i was dealing with my mom being in and out of psych hospitals for suicide and depression, and i pretty much blew that off and focused on this girl

i guess you could psychoanalyze the hell out of it, but i just don't want to go there. did anyone have a normal traditional childhood, cause i can't think of anyone i know that did

ahh, depressing nostalgia, gotta stay way from old letters and jim beam, lots and lots of jim beam