oldgreeneyes

Crazyness. That's my life. I grew up in Christian environments and really studied the bible wanting to do 'God's will' yet have fought with some devilishness that I can't contain at times. Well, at least when I get the false ego boost that comes with drinking alcohol. Or when it comes to...oh never mind about that. I won't even go there.

I swear, when I was younger, and the hormones were really out of control, I thought I was damned like Judas Iscariot in a predestination sort of way. Despite wanting to be good, I was on the highway to hell and there's nothing I could do about it.

Now, I'm beyond religion and realize there's no heaven or hell, only this life that is what we make of it. It's most often hell for me, but these days it's of my own creation. Damn it. I'm still refining myself. Still a work in progress. Still wanna be the saviour of the world and bring it peace, joy and love. But damn if my demons don't get the best of me still. I suppose I'm lucky enough to still have a chance. For that I'm greatful. It's not over till it's over after all. It's onward and forward.

peace and thank you.