Words can't describe how bummed I am and how much of a schmuck I feel like today.
I had to cancel my trip to see my daughter in Ohio this Christmas because her mom and mom's boyfriend are having some difficulty between them making a visit from me even more bothersome. Her mom and I got into an argument over the phone just a hour before I was supposed to depart and she finally just asked me if I could transfer my ticket over towards usage at a later date. And that's what I did.
My daughter says she understands, but her mom called me right back, turning things around and blamed me and said our daughter was bawling her eyes out in her room.
I'm so fucking bummed about all of this. I feel just sick. I nearly puked at the terminal on my return trip home. This has been an agonizing morning. The most ever.
It boils down to not having enough money to take my daughter away for a little bit. I can't afford a rental car for a week, let alone a hotel and all the amenities. If I'd of gone I would have had to been picked up at the airport by my ex or her boyfriend. I'd of had to just hang out rather low key like at their house for a week, which I was totally prepared to do. And then be taken back to the airport, a different one actually, by my ex or her boyfriend. But, it just couldn't happen this time around.
When I explained to my ex how much debt I was in and that I couldn't afford to rent a car for a week, she simply said, "What's another $400 (added debt)"? ugh! I couldn't believe it. Of course she didn't think about the added gas and all that goes with it.
I hate being poor.
I hate being a slave to debt.
I am so bummed. I just don't know what else to say. A part of me feels like I did the wise thing. Another feels like I was a huge schmuck. It's hard to accept all of this. I'm just floored.
But, since I'm home and not on vacation anymore. I'm just gonna go back to work in an attempt to make some progress and not injury to conquering my mountain. My mountain of debt.
'Tis the season.
I had to cancel my trip to see my daughter in Ohio this Christmas because her mom and mom's boyfriend are having some difficulty between them making a visit from me even more bothersome. Her mom and I got into an argument over the phone just a hour before I was supposed to depart and she finally just asked me if I could transfer my ticket over towards usage at a later date. And that's what I did.
My daughter says she understands, but her mom called me right back, turning things around and blamed me and said our daughter was bawling her eyes out in her room.
I'm so fucking bummed about all of this. I feel just sick. I nearly puked at the terminal on my return trip home. This has been an agonizing morning. The most ever.
It boils down to not having enough money to take my daughter away for a little bit. I can't afford a rental car for a week, let alone a hotel and all the amenities. If I'd of gone I would have had to been picked up at the airport by my ex or her boyfriend. I'd of had to just hang out rather low key like at their house for a week, which I was totally prepared to do. And then be taken back to the airport, a different one actually, by my ex or her boyfriend. But, it just couldn't happen this time around.
When I explained to my ex how much debt I was in and that I couldn't afford to rent a car for a week, she simply said, "What's another $400 (added debt)"? ugh! I couldn't believe it. Of course she didn't think about the added gas and all that goes with it.
I hate being poor.
I hate being a slave to debt.
I am so bummed. I just don't know what else to say. A part of me feels like I did the wise thing. Another feels like I was a huge schmuck. It's hard to accept all of this. I'm just floored.
But, since I'm home and not on vacation anymore. I'm just gonna go back to work in an attempt to make some progress and not injury to conquering my mountain. My mountain of debt.
'Tis the season.