Relationships! What to want out of them?
A lot of people these days jump in and out of relationships like a pilot out of a plane without a parachute. Truth be told, that was me a few years ago, not knowing what to do after being dumped by an ex, actually catching her cheating on me with a friend. It takes a lot of time to recover from things like that, and quite simply I didn't want anything to do with anyone for a while, but all I can say is that I had to start out from ground level. Everything that I thought I knew about relationships, trusting people and committing myself to someone rather quickly and trying to make things work was absolutely wrong. The worst mistake I did was trusting someone too soon and opening myself up to the eventuality of being betrayed too soon. Yes, I'd been with this girl for quite a long time, but fell for her after maybe about a week.
A spurning and burning of bridges like the one I experienced will leave you shaken and stirred like a cold cocktail, and that's how you mail feel inside after it. The magic formula does not exist. There is no set of rules out there that will let you be more successful in relationships except the following, which I've studied throughout sociology, psychology and my own mistakes, and it essentially applies for both genders and almost any age:
1. Be happy with who you are before you can take care of someone else's happiness or even remotely try to engage in anything that involves making them happy. If you don't, you'll be consumed about worrying about them too much and forgetting about your own well being. Being loving and caring is awesome, but not to the point that you may become insecure and dependent on them too much.
2. Treat everyone nicely, even if it hurts. You might ask yourself, how the hell can you do that? Simple. If your enemy realizes that they can't hurt you with their frail words and that you are going to treat them kindly, even throughout the course of time, they will figure out that you aren't really a bad person or don't mean them any harm and will want to get to know you. Positivity leaves a better impression on everyone, especially on those people that you only see in passing, because if they remember you with a positive emotion, they are more likely to attribute that to you being a positive person and they will want to talk to you that much more. Let's face it, no one likes to talk to an asshole, even those that are assholes themselves. Basically, don't go be like Tom Cruise on Oprah.
3. Be interesting. When you first talk to someone, don't go on kissing their ass and don't go pretending that you care about what they have to say if you truly don't. They will realize this and probably ignore you. A little bit of a spicy personality (slightly teasing people when you first meet them) will make them think that you aren't just another person chasing their booty, but actually are pretty clever and may keep them more interested in you because of that. Just because you are nice, doesn't mean you have to be like a Stepford Wife.
What you want out of a relationship is something for you to decide. All I can say is, if you feel a certain way, express it to yourself and the other person instead of leading themselves and you on and wasting your time.
I guess that's all I can think of for now. Thanks for reading and input is always appreciated.
A lot of people these days jump in and out of relationships like a pilot out of a plane without a parachute. Truth be told, that was me a few years ago, not knowing what to do after being dumped by an ex, actually catching her cheating on me with a friend. It takes a lot of time to recover from things like that, and quite simply I didn't want anything to do with anyone for a while, but all I can say is that I had to start out from ground level. Everything that I thought I knew about relationships, trusting people and committing myself to someone rather quickly and trying to make things work was absolutely wrong. The worst mistake I did was trusting someone too soon and opening myself up to the eventuality of being betrayed too soon. Yes, I'd been with this girl for quite a long time, but fell for her after maybe about a week.
A spurning and burning of bridges like the one I experienced will leave you shaken and stirred like a cold cocktail, and that's how you mail feel inside after it. The magic formula does not exist. There is no set of rules out there that will let you be more successful in relationships except the following, which I've studied throughout sociology, psychology and my own mistakes, and it essentially applies for both genders and almost any age:
1. Be happy with who you are before you can take care of someone else's happiness or even remotely try to engage in anything that involves making them happy. If you don't, you'll be consumed about worrying about them too much and forgetting about your own well being. Being loving and caring is awesome, but not to the point that you may become insecure and dependent on them too much.
2. Treat everyone nicely, even if it hurts. You might ask yourself, how the hell can you do that? Simple. If your enemy realizes that they can't hurt you with their frail words and that you are going to treat them kindly, even throughout the course of time, they will figure out that you aren't really a bad person or don't mean them any harm and will want to get to know you. Positivity leaves a better impression on everyone, especially on those people that you only see in passing, because if they remember you with a positive emotion, they are more likely to attribute that to you being a positive person and they will want to talk to you that much more. Let's face it, no one likes to talk to an asshole, even those that are assholes themselves. Basically, don't go be like Tom Cruise on Oprah.
3. Be interesting. When you first talk to someone, don't go on kissing their ass and don't go pretending that you care about what they have to say if you truly don't. They will realize this and probably ignore you. A little bit of a spicy personality (slightly teasing people when you first meet them) will make them think that you aren't just another person chasing their booty, but actually are pretty clever and may keep them more interested in you because of that. Just because you are nice, doesn't mean you have to be like a Stepford Wife.
What you want out of a relationship is something for you to decide. All I can say is, if you feel a certain way, express it to yourself and the other person instead of leading themselves and you on and wasting your time.
I guess that's all I can think of for now. Thanks for reading and input is always appreciated.
rydell:
Thank you for the comment on my Game On set..it is appreciated 