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oklahoma

Member Since 2009

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Tuesday Apr 27, 2010

Apr 27, 2010
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Something I never understood is people who are able to remain best friends with an ex they were very much in love with, and have no problem "dealing with" seeing that ex and his/her new girlfriend/boyfriend/hookup.

I don't consider myself a jealous person in general, I'm not sure what this is. Over a year ago, Scott and I broke up because I wanted to. There were things I was unsure about in my own life, we were both going through things we felt it would be better if we were not together during. We're better than ever now and we definitely understand the value of growing together through hard times. But that aside.

I told him I never wanted to be with him again, I was angry about things and was very bitter. He tried getting back together with me constantly and I was just no, no, no.

I went out one night to a bar we went to together all the time, we have a lot of friends there. Then I spotted him with this girl I knew he was just "dating", or attempting to hook up with or WHATEVER. So I see this and even though he had TOLD ME it was no big deal, my heart sank to my knees like he was with his new WIFE or something.

I remember the breath jumping out of my mouth like I got kicked in the lungs. I think I just sat there and watched them and every time she put her hands on him, on his chest where I am supposed to put my head to sleep, on his back that I am supposed to hold with my hand, I just felt this indescribable "fury" just fly through me! I felt INSANE.

He saw me and said hello, and was very good about this. But I did sit down with them for a while, he looked bored to tears. I was nice to her but she kept turning to kiss him and I almost melted into a bloody puddle. Now I know one might think what kind of masochist is he? But I wanted to be near him, I felt like we were still attached, sharing a blood supply or something.

I couldn't even look at him without wanted to hold him, and apologize.

Needless to say we were back together within a few days. But I will never forget what that felt like.

Ugh. I was reminded because someone I am friends with on Facebook posted all these photos of herself hanging out with her ex and his new girlfriend. And I wondered how she managed to look so placid? Or maybe I'm just a nut.

Which is quite possible, of course wink

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