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Relapsing into something you thought you were over, or at least better about, is such a disheartening thing.
I made plans to go to Churchills tonight. Was gonna me up with Gina and Rachel. I wasn't feeling too great about it...I actually got nervous before I left, which is weird cuz I've been pretty fine going there the last few times. As I was leaving Gina called to say she had a flat and might not make it. I told her to call me if she got a ride, but ended up deciding to go.
Even if Gina couldn't make it, Rachel would be there. Sure, she's not really reliable in a situation like that to talk to for more than a few minute cuz she hops around but I figured I'd bump into more people. So I get there, and just had a really shitty vibe from the git go. No one was really there to talk to, the music was sucking terribly...lol. I tried to find out where Rachel was but she didn't reply, and the rest of the night kinda just went along like that. I pretty much maxed out on my anxiety, to where I even got a stomach ache from it.
I ended up just leaving because it was pointless for me to stay there and feel worse and worse.
Not much else to say, aside from the obvious....BLEH!
Actually, I was thinking on the way home...that I wonder if everyone that reads this thinks that I am just being a big complainer...that I am using "anxiety" as a crutch for not doing things...etc etc. I know what it is to live with this, and to even be misunderstood by people that have anxiety themselves, but different kinds. It's a very hard thing to understand, and much harder to sympathize with. That is one reason why I kept quiet about it for a long time.
And maybe I should go back to that. I think I started talking more about it lately because I feel more in touch with it...even if I feel at times that I am reverting, I've felt more comfortable sharing it. Maybe I was wrong in that....I don't know, you all tell me! I'd honestly like to know if you think it's a load of crap. You can skip the positive comments...I know the few of you out there that either share some similar issue, or at least understand. What I really want to know is, the other side of it. How many of you...especially those closer to me...think I'm either full of shit, or just exaggerate it.
If you don't care to reply here, for obvious reasons, my email is: hectorap@gmail.com. Thanks!
Relapsing into something you thought you were over, or at least better about, is such a disheartening thing.
I made plans to go to Churchills tonight. Was gonna me up with Gina and Rachel. I wasn't feeling too great about it...I actually got nervous before I left, which is weird cuz I've been pretty fine going there the last few times. As I was leaving Gina called to say she had a flat and might not make it. I told her to call me if she got a ride, but ended up deciding to go.
Even if Gina couldn't make it, Rachel would be there. Sure, she's not really reliable in a situation like that to talk to for more than a few minute cuz she hops around but I figured I'd bump into more people. So I get there, and just had a really shitty vibe from the git go. No one was really there to talk to, the music was sucking terribly...lol. I tried to find out where Rachel was but she didn't reply, and the rest of the night kinda just went along like that. I pretty much maxed out on my anxiety, to where I even got a stomach ache from it.
I ended up just leaving because it was pointless for me to stay there and feel worse and worse.
Not much else to say, aside from the obvious....BLEH!
Actually, I was thinking on the way home...that I wonder if everyone that reads this thinks that I am just being a big complainer...that I am using "anxiety" as a crutch for not doing things...etc etc. I know what it is to live with this, and to even be misunderstood by people that have anxiety themselves, but different kinds. It's a very hard thing to understand, and much harder to sympathize with. That is one reason why I kept quiet about it for a long time.
And maybe I should go back to that. I think I started talking more about it lately because I feel more in touch with it...even if I feel at times that I am reverting, I've felt more comfortable sharing it. Maybe I was wrong in that....I don't know, you all tell me! I'd honestly like to know if you think it's a load of crap. You can skip the positive comments...I know the few of you out there that either share some similar issue, or at least understand. What I really want to know is, the other side of it. How many of you...especially those closer to me...think I'm either full of shit, or just exaggerate it.
If you don't care to reply here, for obvious reasons, my email is: hectorap@gmail.com. Thanks!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cianna:
xoxoxoxoxo!!!!!
user0207231052:
what sort of interesting things? 