ohmygil

I have a bi-polar friend. I would call him one of my best, but when he gets down to his lowest lows, it's impossible to communicate with him. He shuts down, and nothing I say seems to break through. It's especially tough over the internet, since he lives in SoCal, and I live up here in NorCal.

It's also tough to ask something that shouldn't be. Such as "are you taking your meds?" It's so blunt that one might take offense to it. But should I do it anyway? He's mentioned that he's contemplated suicide. and in the most painful ways. I'm talking jumping into traffic-kind of ways.

But it's also put things into perspective. I was seeing this one girl a while ago, and she does the same thing. I don't think she's bi-polar, but I wouldn't really know, because she only contacts me now when she's at her lows. And blows me off when I need advice to help in a situation. I recently cut her off without much explanation. It's a dick move, I know. I just can't take it. She caused me to fall into a depression of my own because I had her problems in addition to my own, and she didn't let me vent because things were always worse for her, whether they actually were or not. It was a competition, and one I'm not looking to play anymore. Especially since she's now engaged to be married to someone else, and she broke it off last time because I wasn't catholic and the parents didn't approve.

What am I getting at? I'm not really sure. I guess you could say I'm just wondering how I can handle Friend A through the highs and lows, while Friend B I cannot. Perhaps it's because there's no pain associated with Friend A, or that he listens through my lows. Or maybe it's what Friend C said. I'm being petty.

I could be petty. But I don't think so.