Lots Wife, by Anna Akhmatova.
The just man followed then his angel guide
Where he strode on the black highway, hulking and bright;
But a wild grief in his wife's bosom cried,
Look back, it is not too late for a last sight
Of the red towers of your native Sodom, the square
Where once you sang, the gardens you shall mourn,
And the tall house with empty windows where
You loved your husband and your babes were born
She turned, and looking on the bitter view
Her eyes were welded shut by mortal pain;
Into transparent salt her body grew,
And her quick feet were rooted in the plain.
Who would waste tears upon her? Is she not
The least of our losses, this unhappy wife?
Yet in my heart she will not be forgot
Who, for a single glance, gave up her life.
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It is good for her to look. I want to say amen to the impulse, there's something very right about it, very human, very natural. But, it is a problem when the soul is looking back while the body's going forward. The soul might get seriously stuck. And stuck, it might lose the ability to participate in the future and to influence the direction of a life. And if the soul looks too entirely or too deeply or too possessively at the past, the body is stopped and gets changed into salt. Which in that historical time period was in some ways the equivalent of gold (which speaks to the wholesomeness of the impulse to look). So what's the moral besides do what your told. Perhaps its not a matter of simply looking back. The problem is looking back while running forward. Looking back while being stopped is ok, and looking back while walking is harmless enough. Looking back while running forward causes some strange anchor to drop. So, once the anchor is dropped, how does one get that freedom of movement back. Longing for contradictory things is a problem. The anchor is two ropes pulling in opposite directions with equal force. So to get unstuck, one might try to create a new longing. A new desire. It's simple physics really. A pillar of salt is not likely to be able to subtract a desire, because the twin desires are already holding it too tightly, but it can always add a new desire just for the fuck of it. And that desire, the moment it becomes real, will enduce measurable movement away from anchored stasis. A three-part system is already much less prone to stasis. And an infinite-part system such as reality itself, is not prone to stasis ever. So, one breaks out of the desire for contradictory things, not by stopping one desire, which isn't possible if you're truly a pillar of salt, but by adding new desires in an attempt to disrupt the two opposing forces thing. Or whatever. Once unstuck, you can if you choose try to rid yourself of whatever self-destructive desires you like. Mostly it doesn't matter that much. Surgical removal of specific desires isn't usually as easy as it looks. And it's not necessarily helpful. It can even backfire if the subconscious or the soul becomes offended. But sometimes it happens and there it is.
The just man followed then his angel guide
Where he strode on the black highway, hulking and bright;
But a wild grief in his wife's bosom cried,
Look back, it is not too late for a last sight
Of the red towers of your native Sodom, the square
Where once you sang, the gardens you shall mourn,
And the tall house with empty windows where
You loved your husband and your babes were born
She turned, and looking on the bitter view
Her eyes were welded shut by mortal pain;
Into transparent salt her body grew,
And her quick feet were rooted in the plain.
Who would waste tears upon her? Is she not
The least of our losses, this unhappy wife?
Yet in my heart she will not be forgot
Who, for a single glance, gave up her life.
----------------------------------------------------------
It is good for her to look. I want to say amen to the impulse, there's something very right about it, very human, very natural. But, it is a problem when the soul is looking back while the body's going forward. The soul might get seriously stuck. And stuck, it might lose the ability to participate in the future and to influence the direction of a life. And if the soul looks too entirely or too deeply or too possessively at the past, the body is stopped and gets changed into salt. Which in that historical time period was in some ways the equivalent of gold (which speaks to the wholesomeness of the impulse to look). So what's the moral besides do what your told. Perhaps its not a matter of simply looking back. The problem is looking back while running forward. Looking back while being stopped is ok, and looking back while walking is harmless enough. Looking back while running forward causes some strange anchor to drop. So, once the anchor is dropped, how does one get that freedom of movement back. Longing for contradictory things is a problem. The anchor is two ropes pulling in opposite directions with equal force. So to get unstuck, one might try to create a new longing. A new desire. It's simple physics really. A pillar of salt is not likely to be able to subtract a desire, because the twin desires are already holding it too tightly, but it can always add a new desire just for the fuck of it. And that desire, the moment it becomes real, will enduce measurable movement away from anchored stasis. A three-part system is already much less prone to stasis. And an infinite-part system such as reality itself, is not prone to stasis ever. So, one breaks out of the desire for contradictory things, not by stopping one desire, which isn't possible if you're truly a pillar of salt, but by adding new desires in an attempt to disrupt the two opposing forces thing. Or whatever. Once unstuck, you can if you choose try to rid yourself of whatever self-destructive desires you like. Mostly it doesn't matter that much. Surgical removal of specific desires isn't usually as easy as it looks. And it's not necessarily helpful. It can even backfire if the subconscious or the soul becomes offended. But sometimes it happens and there it is.