Ive been 2% healed.
Still, I hate it when people I dont know say surprisingly relevant things. Im independent. Id rather be wrong then taught. Im like, Yeah, well uhmm And youre moms a fatass. And uhhh. Dammit. Maybe Im not cut out for reality. Or reality's not cut out for me. What I really want is to love my culture absolutely. And I dont. and this fills me with loathing. And unsettles me, and makes me want the world to change to match my image of what it could be. I try to look at it in a hundred different ways to see if maybe, maybe its already the way it should be. But in any case, its already the way it is. Its already throbbing with good and bad, just like I am. Maybe I should deal with my own shit before I go demanding that the world transform itself into something sensible. Then again, if demandings part of what I am, then demandings gonna happen. I can't stop, and I don't want to. I understand that I dont know. I understand that politicians dont know. I understand that power corrupts the ones that possess it the minute certainty develops. I want to be sad for a couple hours and alone. I want to enjoy the humidity. I want to smoke a cigarette out on the deck, but I dont smoke.
Still, I hate it when people I dont know say surprisingly relevant things. Im independent. Id rather be wrong then taught. Im like, Yeah, well uhmm And youre moms a fatass. And uhhh. Dammit. Maybe Im not cut out for reality. Or reality's not cut out for me. What I really want is to love my culture absolutely. And I dont. and this fills me with loathing. And unsettles me, and makes me want the world to change to match my image of what it could be. I try to look at it in a hundred different ways to see if maybe, maybe its already the way it should be. But in any case, its already the way it is. Its already throbbing with good and bad, just like I am. Maybe I should deal with my own shit before I go demanding that the world transform itself into something sensible. Then again, if demandings part of what I am, then demandings gonna happen. I can't stop, and I don't want to. I understand that I dont know. I understand that politicians dont know. I understand that power corrupts the ones that possess it the minute certainty develops. I want to be sad for a couple hours and alone. I want to enjoy the humidity. I want to smoke a cigarette out on the deck, but I dont smoke.