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oh_me_ghost

Member Since 2002

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Thursday Feb 02, 2006

Feb 2, 2006
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There sometimes comes a time, when due to tiredeness or whatever else is going on, a person finally realizes the things theyre actually best at have become the things they hate the most.

When a certain person
doesnt get
her way, a certain person
goes insane.
- Movie

This time of year and me do not get along. I need some intense sun, and constant sun, and sun like burning on my eyeballs. Then Ill be ok. But this rain rain rain, black, black, black two quick peaks of blue sky to tease, then rain rain rain, black black black, repeat. For the love of god!!! For the love of crack!!!. I am sick to death!!! Of it. I mean, the rain. And pushing rocks up imaginery ramps, just to watch them fall back down, sos that I might collect a dollar bill. I hear calamity knocking, and I might just open the door like a jackass clown and smile at calamity, the ever-intelligent calamity, the all-knowing, all karmic calamity, with his all-hard dickie in his calamity pants that hes apparently come to rape my world with, and Ill just tell calamity to eat some fucking shit. Unless calamity means to kill me, I just dont have the humility right now to grovel and plead for calamity to leave me alone. If calamity wants to test me, or offer me one last opportunity to be someone else or someone better than I can, then I am ready to stare him down. But if he waits a half hour, Ill probably be passed out. I am soul tired. I need a lightning bolt from the sky to wake me up. I wait for it to flash, waiting but all the comes is blackness. And rain, and rage for instant change and sunshine on my brain stem. And the freedom to spend these days writing. And this fucking mole from pucsatony wants to mess with things. Fucking pucsatony. Fucking groundhogs day. Im just in a funk. And trying to make it seem like Im impassioned, when really Im just completely dead inside. The things I write are lies. And I dont know what Im saying. Tomorrow is the same as today, only therell be slightly more work to do. Hooray!!! Thats just fucking awesome is what I say. Im so exhausted by the sameness of these god-forsaken mornings, I mean lately.The nights dont bother me hardly at all cause at least theyre mine, its the mornings, the black and rainy mornings that are driving me insane.

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