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ogilethorpe

Chicago

Member Since 2004

Followers 2 Following 2

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Saturday Apr 03, 2004

Apr 2, 2004
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Yeah so when I got back in town, I went on this whole cleaning kick. Not so much cleaning the aparment or anything, just kinda wanted to fix up a few things in life.

So I finally bridged the gap between the seemingly two opposite lives I was leading. That went over about as well as telling a baptist family you were getting a sex change.

Not to say there's anything wrong with being baptist. Or getting a sex change for that matter.

From here on out, one thing is certain. If I cannot be honest with you, I want absolutely nothing to do with you at all. Im tired of hiding things just to make things easier. Just to keep the political climate within a fucking social group to a stable level.

Fuck that. Not for me.

I don't purposely try to start shit with people, it just seems to come naturally when you are dealing with me.

Face the facts. Lifes too short to spend it fighting. I have some very beautiful, very amazing possibilites right in front of me, I know what I want, where I want to go, and who I want by my side. No one is going to take me down from that. If you try, I will tear you apart. Plain and simple.

Sometimes the most hurtful thing you can do is go silent. Sometimes, that will get to someone more than anything else in the world.

Not to say I am trying to be vindictive. Not to say that I want to hurt anyone. Never, not my style. If you leave me no other option though, I will do what I have to for the benifit of everything around me.

I played the role of the welcome mat for 20 years. Im done with it now.

Wow, there's an idea. 21 years in this lifetime. I never once thought I would make it this far. For once though, I completely understand how and why I got here. I look forward to whats on my horizion. I can sleep at night. I can feel again. It's like I was reborn.

This is probably getting way too deep, especially for 8am on a Saturday morning.

Been neglecting this journal though, so I thought I would throw something out there.

"Watch the weather change."
xhavokx:
"Sometimes the most hurtful thing you can do is go silent. Sometimes, that will get to someone more than anything else in the world."

I cannot agree more with this comment.... Silence can sometimes cut like a knife... I would rather the person I care about to scream and shout at me then to actually be silent... t can be soooo horribly hurtful!
Apr 3, 2004
ogilethorpe:
I didnt have a choice. I tried to not go silent, but unfortunately the people around me gave me no choice.

I like to be able to be honest with people. Honesty is always the best trait. Theres a problem when "friends" wont allow you to be so open though.

Ive managed to weed through the bullshit though. So I know what to do. I know where I stand with people.

Ive taken out the trash for lack of a better way of putting it.

Apr 3, 2004

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