Jesus I've been away for awhile. Makes me wonder if I should even try to renew my presence around here. I get nervous and anxious about this sort of thing. Feels like I abandoned things which makes me feel like I don't deserve to just come walking back in. I mean, how does this work? Do I apologize for being away? Make some lame excuses and such? Or simply say my brain fell out? Because truth be told that's what happened. I lost the plot. Been stultified by everyday life. A general apathy towards everything.
Thing is, I don't actually like apathy all that much. Makes for a nice defense mechanism. But tends to leave me far too alone for my comfort. I do like my solitude. I also like having people to talk with. I miss a good conversation. I think I've really let turning 30 fuck with me, let it rot my brain. Having your brain atrophy is worse than letting any other muscle decline. Makes it hard to think, to push through all the nonsense thoughts that have collected like dead skin.
I think I'll just lurk for a bit. Maybe write a couple of things here and there as the mood hits me. Get my brain punching its weight again. Maybe that won't work at all, but I live and hope.
Thing is, I don't actually like apathy all that much. Makes for a nice defense mechanism. But tends to leave me far too alone for my comfort. I do like my solitude. I also like having people to talk with. I miss a good conversation. I think I've really let turning 30 fuck with me, let it rot my brain. Having your brain atrophy is worse than letting any other muscle decline. Makes it hard to think, to push through all the nonsense thoughts that have collected like dead skin.
I think I'll just lurk for a bit. Maybe write a couple of things here and there as the mood hits me. Get my brain punching its weight again. Maybe that won't work at all, but I live and hope.
chachagirl:
OMG. Your neurosis is sooo damn cute! We should be friends. I'll talk with you. 