I'm supposed to be doing my first shoot of the year this evening and i'm not up for it at all. My skin is so bad and even though I want to do it, I just feel gross. My hair has given me lots of confidence and I feel more like me again but i'm just not ready for a shoot yet and i'm disappointed in myself.
I'm just about coping and scraping by financially and it's really taking its toll on me. I'm so stressed every day and not sleeping much. my birthday coming up always makes me feel crap because it's another year gone by where nothing has happened. I tried to move to London and failed at everything and then my mental health took a heavy downward spiral and that's about it! I keep trying to achieve things and make something of myself and it never works out. I've only been here a month and I've already had a severe breakdown.
I helped Felis with her hair and it looks stunning and she's so beautiful I can't wait to see her in front of the camera but I look at myself and go ugh look how gross you look! My other bestie is in LA and i'm so happy for her, SG has brought her so many wonderful things and the chance to see such a beautiful state is amazing. I haven't been on holiday in so long :(
My family have bought me loads of sewing stuff for my birthday so hopefully I can get stuck into that soon which will make me feel better. I just want a bit of luck to keep me going, something to lift my spirits because i'm feeling so lost at the moment.
