I've been meaning to write this post for a couple days but couldn't quite muster up the energy still.
Sunday I got hit by a big mental storm. It might have been a delayed second reaction to when I accidentally ran out of meds recently, i'm not sure. I felt completely lost, like I was swimming in thick black and couldn't figure out which way was up. I couldn't stop crying. I haven't been sleeping anyway but that didn't help the matter. It went on for three days. Several things exacerbated it but it was the same waking up to darkness and struggling, crying until I gave myself a headache and threw up. I wanted out. I felt so helpless and useless, I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel so I wanted to quit.
Now everybody's bodies work differently, what works for some might not work for others. But I know that when I have weed to smoke I feel calmer, I don't get so anxious, I don't get so lost in my thoughts I end up in hysteria, I sleep better, i'm able to cope.
On Wednesday I was finally able to have a smoke and the change in me was instantaneous. I'm sure you're thinking that was probably a psychological aspect and maybe you're right, there may have been. But I went from a hysterical sweating nauseous mess that hadn't eaten in two days to someone who was cooking dinner, enjoying a film and laughing. I have left the house, enjoyed a walk in the woods with the doggo, done shopping, bathed!
There are so many studies that have shown how marijuana can be used to benefit so many different people and yet there are so many people still living with a misconception about it.
I managed to change my mums mind completely during my time staying at home recently, she was very anti weed, believed it to be a "gateway drug" and all that. Not only did I open up to her that I smoked it, I educated her about it, and even shared some with her, as I explained how beneficial it could be to her, as a fibro sufferer. (Unfortunately she smoked too much and got too high and freaked herself out and she's not ready to try again yet 😂)
Because I was able to do that, my sisters and my aunts have also educated themselves and are all rallying together to get my grandad to try in relation to tackling his cancer.
So nobody could ever try to tell me that marijuana isn't a medicine. I've educated myself on the subject, educated others, seen it first hand and experienced it.
The more people we educate about it the higher the chance that we can legalise it in the UK. Already with more of the states leading that direction it's creating a bridge to a time where it will be legal here, we just have to keep going.
I also want to thank @felis my babe for being there for me in person. @sophoulla @linziebelle @rouge and @rambo over the interwebs. You all made a huge impact on me pulling myself out of that.
