SSo at the moment I'm pretty much the lowest I've been ever. I'm actually surprised I'm still going, I think I'm holding on to the tiniest hope that things might get better and that's all that's keeping me going. I hate my life. My job sucks. I'm lonely as shit. Nobody bothers with me, not even my friends. Nobody cares about me anymore. I don't feel good about the way I look. I'm so stressed about moving to my own place and how I'm going to afford it because I'm broke as shit at the moment. The guy I was seeing doesn't have the time for me so he's said he wants to cool things down. Obviously we've only just started seeing each other so I acted like it was fine but it's not, he was the only thing that made me feel good. I'm sure we'll pick back up once we've both settled down a bit. I'm just fed up of fighting. I haven't been on here or even my histogram because I feel so low. I feel like nobody cares. I feel like I have nothing to bring, I have nothing to contribute to this community at the moment. I feel like I'm letting everyone down including myself. I was so excited about the shootfest and about my set hitting member review and I want it to do well so so badly but I have such self loathing at the moment I'm finding it hard to get excited about anything.
But to try and make myself feel good I've taken some snaps of the underwear ill be wearing in one of my shoots at the shootfest. It's pretty.
also I'm getting a new tattoo on Monday, in an extremely painful place but I'm hhoping it won't be too bad and I'm really excited about how it'll look
