Wednesday Dec 03, 2003

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I can be an amazingly horrible person sometimes. For some reason when I am away from ex, I think he is amazing and can't figure out why I am letting him go. And then when i see him, I am reminded of how horrible we can be for each other. And when I can't resolve the two, bad things happen. I say things I wish I hadn't. And inevitably, I come home, remeber why I thnk he is a good person, and feel really bad. It was the same while we were dating. Except for those times when it was good. Then I was just afaid it was all going to crumble.


I don't know how to tell if it is time to stop trying. And i really don't know when it is time to stop talking.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
littledeadkid:
yea that shit super sucks when ur not around that person and all u think about is the good then when u 2 are toghether its all fucked up and u see y ur not together no more so i do feel whut u mean
skull skull
mei:
to be honest, i think that the only way to measure a relationship after its possible termination is someone else. if'n you can find another person in a reasonable amount of time that makes you happy or happier, maybe it wasn't meant to be. if you try, and other people just don't measure up, maybe you found the best fish in the sea.

which is a pain, because that does involve meeting and dating other people, which is often complicated and messy.

oh, and by the way, i am feeling EXACTLY the same things right now. i think it s all about lonliness. when he is there, you are comforted and not-lonely enough to start seeing other parts of life, like how he might not be perfect for you. but when he is gone, the lonliness takes over and all you want is him, here, now, to make you un-lonely. at least that's how it works with me, anyway.

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